A time to appreciate .... A time to bless ....
It is Teacher's Day Celebration today. It is the time of the year when I'm the busiest .... over teachers. Zane has 4 teachers in his class in PCS.Zoe has at least 5 teachers teaching the K2s in CPK.My school has around 13 staff. Hmmmmmmmmmm .............Due to tight budget, really had to cut down on some gifts. Like what I whispered to my colleagues this morning, "I only give to the upstairs teachers hor, ssshhhhhhh ...... " Wrote two appreciation letters for Zoe and Zane's teachers........ Here they are. Some parts are duplicates. Hmmm, oh well, simply because both are special children and I do feel the same way towards this aspect of their specialness. ****************************************
Letter to PCS (Zane's school)Dear PCS Principal and Teachers,
Blessed Teacher’s Day !!
Once again, l would love to take this opportunity to thank the Principal and staff for their love and care towards Zane. Special thanks to Zane’s PG class teachers and I hope you like the little gifts Zane brought to school today.
Since the day Zane was diagnosed, the words “special child” has become a very different meaning in my life. Now, when I tell others that “my son is special”, my heart will be very heavy.
15 years in preschool teaching and I’ve taught all sorts of preschoolers. I have never thought that the path of parenting which I have to take will be different from most parents. My dreams about my very own children can read at the age of 3 and write short stories by the time they enter formal schools were flushed down the drain.
By the grace of God and the hard work of the teachers, this year especially, I do see remarkable improvement in Zane. Maybe Glowing Seed’s intervention program really helps a lot. I can see Zane having more eye contacts with the adults and responsive. I think his tantrums have also cut down significantly and more predictable. Like, when he insists in having an object and we have to say “no”, we can anticipate that he may bang his head on the floor and be prepared to tackle that.
I know it takes a lot, a lot, a lot of patience and strength to look after Zane alongside with the other 22 children. I’m his mummy, I know. It is challenging taking care of Zane. I told Chen Lao Shi that I dunno how you super teachers survive?! I’m only teaching half day, and my voice can give way by the end of the week.
I can tell that Zane loves PCS. He loves his teachers too. Children this young, esp special children, they are very real to their emotions. If they like you, they will show. If they do not, they will shun you. I can see Zane being more affectionate. Sometimes I do tease the teachers that Zane is being forced to plant goodbye kisses on their cheeks. If he doesn’t kiss the teacher, he can’t step out of the school gate that kind of thing? Hahaha .... And it warms my heart a lot to see Zane showing love to the teachers whom he knows they love him dearly.
The reason why I’m sticking to Glowing Seed is also Zane likes Evonne a lot. When he likes an adult very much, that also mean he will respond to that same adult very positively.
Oh yah, please help me pass Evonne’s Teacher’s Day gift to her, ok ? I will miss her since she only comes in the morning.
I will share with you ladies my blog which I write about Zane. Hope it will bless your hearts. I just want to say, you teachers have been such a great blessing to me and I can’t thank all of you enough.
I thank God for each and every one of you. Amen. J
Blog about Zane : (Thanks for reading)Love,Jesselyn Ng 30 August 20064.45pm ***********************************
Letter to CPK (Zoe's school)Dear Calvary Pandan Principal and Teachers,
Blessed Teacher’s Day !!
Once again, l would love to take this opportunity to thank the Principal and staff for their love and care towards Zoë. Special thanks to Zoë’s class teachers and I hope you like the little gifts Zoë brought to school today.
Since the day Zoë was diagnosed, the words “special child” has become a very different meaning in my life. Now, when I tell others that “my girl is special”, my heart will be very heavy.
15 years in preschool teaching and I’ve taught all sorts of preschoolers. I have never thought that the path of parenting which I have to take will be different from most parents. My dreams about my very own children can read at the age of 3 and write short stories by the time they enter formal schools were flushed down the drain.
By the grace of God and the hard work of the teachers, this year especially, I do see remarkable improvement in Zoë. She is almost indistinguishable (as an autistic child) when she is with her classmates now, unless she acts up.
I want to especially thank Mrs Phua and Mrs Lim for being extra patient with Zoë. Mrs Phua, you have left a very deep impression on me since those days when I had to hang around the school to be Zoë’s shadow teacher. This is because, no matter how busy you were with your own K1 class, you would always stop and say a “Hello Zoë” to my girl. And you would wait patiently for her eye contact and response. Even though Zoë failed so many times in returning you the greeting, you still took the time to connect with her. I am very touched because you were not even her class teacher then.
This year, when I heard that you are her class teacher, I gave thanks to God many times over. On hindsight, I understand the plans of God for Zoë’s preschool path now, ie, she would have Mrs Poh for her first two years as Mrs Poh’s personality is a good match for Zoë’s special temperaments. When she comes to you, Mrs Phua, I am amazed that she fell in love with you so quickly. In fact, she coped with the changes pretty well this year, unlike when she was in Nursery and K1.
Mrs Low, I must commend that you have great teachers in your school. In their lives, I really see Christian teaching. I thank God for each and every one of you, dear teachers. God sees your hard work and your love for the children under your wings.
I like the change in curriculum and the flow which I can see from one theme to another, one language to another. Thank you, once again, teachers, for your hard work. I’m a preschool educator myself, I know it is an uphill task when it comes to curriculum planning and changing.
To the Chinese teachers, do you know that Zoë loves all of you a lot? She is always talking about you ladies. Thank you, for being extra gentle and loving towards Zoë. She can feel your love. Yesterday, when we went shopping for teacher’s day gift, wahhhhhh, her list is so long. Hahaha .......
And to Mrs Tan (K1 asst teacher), till today, Zoë remembers and loves you a lot. She says I must get a bag for her Mrs Tan. She appreciates the countless times you had helped her with a change of uniform and wounds. One of those days, after I picked Zoë from school, I told her that my toe was bleeding as I kicked the pavement accidentally (we were at the bus stop outside Calvary then). Guess what Zoë said? “Come, mummy, follow me. I will bring you to Mrs Tan. She can help you. She can stop the blood.” I was near tears when I heard that.
I know it takes a lot, a lot, a lot of patience and strength to look after Zoë alongside with the other 20+ children. I’m her mummy, I know. I can tell that Zoë loves Calvary Pandan. She loves her teachers very much too. Children this young, esp special children, they are very real to their emotions. If they like you, they will show. If they do not, they will shun you. I can see Zoë’s affection towards all her class teachers. Each time she does a drawing for Mrs Phua, she will take hours. And she will be too tired to draw some more for Mrs Lim and the Chinese Teachers. :P
Dear Mrs Lim, thank you for taking time to attend to Zoë, I know recent mornings, she has an itch and she has to trouble you to apply oil for her. Zoë loves you a lot too. Thank you for taking care of her on days when I took a while to cross over to fetch her. Well, I was standing at my school gate, waiting for parents who are late in picking their children too, hahaha .....
Mrs Low, please allow me to bless the teachers with some light snacks today as it is teacher’s day. I know you will “scold” me. I will bravely face that. Heehee. Words will never be enough for me to thank your teachers. But, I really wish to bring a little something to the school today for the teachers. I promise that it will not be something costly.
It is my way of expressing appreciation and it is a blessing to give. Please allow me this privilege, Mrs Low?
Once again, may you ladies have a most wonderful holiday this coming week.
May the Lord continue to bless your ministry with the children. Amen.
Love and Appreciation,
Mrs Jesselyn Ng
(Zoë Ng’s mummy)
K2A 2006
30 August 20065.35pm
Giving Thanks .... one day more
Very thankful to the Lord that He answered my prayer about staying focused on the tasks I've mapped out to do in school the last two days. Seemed like there are 101 things to do. I am very thankful that the children could follow through. Today, we will do the last part of our letter-writing project. The children will stick a stamp on their envelopes and we will take a short walk to the nearest mail box and post the letters! The children will receive their friend's letters cum drawings in their respective letter boxes latest by Friday, I guess, unless ..... blur me, write the wrong addresses. I checked and double-checked and triple-check already leh. If the parents didn't update their addresses, then, cannot fault the teacher, hehehe ....... "Lord, may I ask for fine weather for today? The children are looking forward to posting their letters. In Jesus Christ's name, Amen." It is a rather interesting process when I got the children to write the letters. Some of them had so many things to say to their friends, some of them had to think for a long time. Well, this is because, the recipients were picked by lots, so, the children kinda have to make do with what their fingers picked out, hehehe .... how can I give the children a free choice on who they want to write letters to? The popular students will receive 10+ letters and the not so popular ones may have none! So .... Drew lots, fair and square, and everybody receives one (hopefully). Today, the children will pack and bring their yellow bags home. I am glad this is the last school day. It will be a day of revision and fun. Award giving and showing of appreciation for the students' hard work. Come tomorrow, it will be a very fun day. Disney Channel is coming again !!! My children are excited! Those who have SCV at home already started spreading the charms of Disney Channel to the non-subscribers, kekeke ..... Ok, gotta get ready for school now. Till the next blog .....Love,Jesselyn Ng
quiet moments with God .... for teachers
Really very quiet in the study room now. I like this teacher's devotional very much. Title : Keeping your eyes on Him Ginger ran to her mother's room as fast as her five-year-old legs would take her. "Come look; come quick," she squealed. "What is it, honey?" her mother asked."You have to come see."Ginger grabbed Mother by the hand and led her to the living room. Stopping in front of the credenza, Ginger pointed her chubby little finger to the manger scene. When Mother had arranged the figures the previous night, the display was properly balanced and evenly spaced. The larger figures were near the stable, and the smaller ones were at the far edge of the walnut top so as to achieve proper perspective.Mother had been pleased with the visual picture. Now the figures were clustered under the stable roof. Each stood facing the manger, as close as possible to Baby Jesus. "Isn't that better? Now they can all see," Ginger proudly exclaimed."See?" asked her Mother."Yes, see," said Ginger. "When I got up, all the men were scattered around. Some of them were so far away that they couldn't see Baby Jesus. I moved them closer, as they could see Him."Can you see Jesus, or do you need to move a little closer to the manger in order to see the Saviour?" By a carpenter mankind was made.And only be that carpenter can mankind be remade."- Desiderius ErasmusJust Sharing,Jesselyn Ng
Rose of Sharon
" I am a rose of Sharon, a lily among the valley. Like a lily among thorns is my darling among maidens. "- Song of songs 2 : 1-2As a young Christian, I was never able to understand this book in the Bible. Now, as a married woman, I can understand it better. There are many beautiful metaphors in this book. The author himself is a poet. He had been given much wisdom by God. Unlike his father, David, he was more like a scholar than a warrior. He was a great lover, too much a lover. Sometimes I wonder if those strange women strayed his hearts from God till he missed the Kingdom of God? There is no record of his ending life, his last moments ... Like did he cry out to God and find his way Home again? We will all find out, when we get to heaven.Now, about roses ....I am not a nature lover. Plants, trees and flowers do not mean much to me. Ya, true, I marvel over God's beautiful creation but these don't make me go head over heels. Yet, I love roses a lot. I love yellow and white roses. I find roses very appealing and they have character. Maybe because of their beauty and their thorns which go together. To me, it is like strength beneath the soft look. When I was young, when I was being courted, only roses could win a smile from me. When I am married, my beloved still buys roses for me, and it has to be roses as I only love roses. Sometimes, he will go to great length to buy very unique roses, if yellow or white are not available. When I was young, when I gave my close lady friends flowers on their birthdays, it had to be roses too. I used to frequent two florists who were so generous with me. For just $30, I can get a super big bouquet of roses for each of my close friends, sometimes, they even deliver the bouquet for free for me. But they are no longer in this business. What a pity ..... and I've yet to find another florist like them. Btw, they are males. I saw the abandoned roses in school yesterday. I've asked permission to bring them home to dry them. Think I will do just that later. :)I still remember my 21 white roses which I hung around my chai chee flat's wall to dry. Those were from my beloved for my 21st birthday. Never get to ask him how much that bouquet cost him. Roses are beautiful, don't you think so?"May I have roses again this 7th Anniversary, my beloved? Maybe 7 yellow roses?" Love,Jesselyn Ng
a much needed break
I am looking forward to the September holidays.I will ensure that I have my holidays. I need a good, good break. If not I may burn out. Two full days of first aid course, 8am - 6.15pm? And it is compulsory unless you have the first aid certificate? Definitely impossible for me. Lugging two kids to a full day course? If I attend the course for half days, it is also considered as incomplete. Anyway, later, I must ensure that I catch hold of my Principal. "God, give me strength for today. I need to finish everything by today. Please help me to stay focus. I'm very drained already. I am so glad Thu is a half day."Love, Jess
unhomed ..... or unchurched ?
Unhomed sounds more accurate. Without realising, I've left E for almost a year. E had been home, my first earthly heavenly home. As to why I left, even Josh also had to spend some time probing the reasons out. Many issues and unresolved misperceptions, I guess. Anyway, E's strict rules with regards to leadership remains. I bowed out since I think i was no longer up to the "mark". Sometimes, when I am in my lamenting moods, I will ask myself, "Maybe things will be different if I had agreed to PM's offer?" Or "Maybe I should just trust God in meeting the travelling expenses to and fro?" Or "Maybe I should just be thick-skinned enough to ensure all the way that my children can be intergrated into their children's ministry though they are a very different kinda sheep?" I think I left as I was too tired fighting myself. Plus I'm too private to share. Whatever people think and perceive, so be it. I'm bothered no more. Out of sight, out of mind? Hopefully works for the others. But definitely not for me. Till now, E's website still remains in my favourite list. Till now, I will enter the site and look at the pictures of my beloved Ps. If only they know what's exactly in my heart and not just through my CL and then RP, by then, all the messages conveyed are misrepresented or diluted, or may end up ... dismissed. To be fair, the thing is : I did not even try. I just exited quietly. No formal good-byes. I'm not totally burning the bridge behind me. Because, what if, one day, I feel like.... returning home ?Tried another E. Same denomination. But the church's focus isn't what I'm comfortable with. And the sunday school is also very big and untrained. Now, supposedly with J. The sunday school is small and ideal for my children. I still miss the good, old, solid sermons of E's Ps. To be honest, the best sermons I've heard the past year from J were those in the June's church camp, by the camp speaker. J's people are warm. Non-pushy sort, which I am very comfortable with. J's people are also commited to their various ministries. Just not as strict as E and thus more human touch. During the camp, J's Ps can sit at our table and had meals with us, had long fellowship just to know us more. J's people are brought up to respect those older than them. All those young adults and teens actually call me "Auntie Chern Chern" or "Auntie Jess". Something I respect them for. My angel in the camp, who is just a 16 yo teen boy actually bought a pricey straw bag for me. Pricey coz I think he bought it from the hotel's gift shop (so price is marked up substantially). He also bought cookies for me and I know it was meant for Zoe and Zane. Remarkable as these came from a teen. I was .... touched by my angel, I must say. Staying in J? Honestly, I dunno. Which is why till now, I feel .... unhomed. Love,Jesselyn
so ... how did the play go ?
Zoe and Zane had water play in the bath room.
I instructed Zoe to call me if Zane brings things which he shouldn't bring into the water. She said, "Ok."
Few moments after hearing their giggles which turned into silence, I went into the bathroom, just to find my son engaged in two of his favourite past times simultaneously. Ok, he was in the play pool, and he was reading. He did an experiment with the pages of the book he was holding, which was Zoe's favourite Dr Seuss book!
Ok, you can imagine the commotion that followed. ie a wailing mummy, lecturing both kids.
How come Zoe never call for me when Zane first stepped into the bathroom with her book?
Well, she "hid" herself in an overturned pail, which accounted for why she didn't see it happened.
Dunno to laugh or to cry. I better choose to laugh.
I threw the book into the trash bin.
Zane retrieved it from the bin and started crying that this precious treasure of his is disintergrating, of course, I comforted him, but with laughter in my heart.
So, I tore of the very wet pages off the book and gave him the remaining ones which are partially wet at the sides. He is hugging the "saved" book in bed now, still mumbling to himself. Maybe asking himself why his experiments always fail. Why water and books don't go well together? Even board books will disintergrate. And he doesn't fancy bath books, maybe he finds them too fake.
Oh well, my son. My little Einstein.
Love,
Jesselyn Ng
glad to see ....
very happy to see Zoe and Zane playing together more often nowadays.for Zane, this does not come very naturally like for other siblings' pairs. Zane is an ASD child. It takes a lot for him to be aware of a playmate's presence and even more to play with that playmate. He handled side by side play with one playmate the best (for a long, long, long time and did not progress to play). He will turn 4 next month and I finally see him play with his sister, even if it is just for 5 minutes before he drifts into his own world again, I am happy. Very happy, in fact. I know it takes a lot in Zane to reach this milestone. this is one area i never take for granted. thank You, Lord, for Zane's progress. Love,Jess
a hard decision to make .....
and it still remains so ....esp after a closed door one to one conference with my principal. for a very long time, i've never been so stuck in a life circumstance, or a situation, whatever you call it. "Pray about it." It is more like a chant to me now. Discuss it with dear hubby. Yes, we have been, since beginning of the year and more intense nowadays, but no conclusion yet.Two guidelines will be my focus. 1. I will be a submissive wife. I will honour my husband's final decision for the household and put my personal desires to death. 2. Zoe must not fall under the mercy of a man made educational system. God, please help. Please speak. Please be silent no more. We need very, very clear directions and if possible and You are willing, Your audible voice and plans for us. Thank You, Lord. Love,Jess
welcoming September
September is always a long-awaited month for me.
It begins with a Teacher's Day Holiday.
And followed by third term school vacation, which to me is no vacation this year. What vacation is there if i have to go back to school two days for first aid course and two days for preparation work? I quickly booked a play date with Delci, one of my best friends, on my only available date. SO pathetic. Sigh .....
But nevermind, the term will start with an excitement, coz concert will be nearing! September will be intensive practice and October will be preparing the costumes and props. Nov will be the actual event. Can't wait! Of all the months in the year, I love Nov too !!
I'm looking forward to 19th Sept, when my dear Zane will turn 4.
And of course 23rd Sept, my Wedding Anniversary date. How blessed we are, this year's 23rd Sept falls on a Sat. So, GA for kids and good anniversary lunch / tea for Josh and I.
Yeah !!
But first, to be realistic, I've gotta clear my work for August.
"Super power ! Up, up and away!"
:)) Jesselyn
thirst
" whoever who drinks from the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."
John 4 : 14" The Lord is my Shepherd,I shall not be in want.He makes me lie down in green pastures,He leads me beside quiet waters.He restores my soul, He guides me in paths of righteousness for His Name's sake."Psalm 23 : 1-3Song : " As the deer panthes for the waters,so my soul longeths after Thee.You alone are my heart's desire And I long to worship You.For You alone are my strength my shield,For You alone, may my spirit yield.You alone are my heart's desire And I long to worship You."****************************************************
I've sought consultation from another GP over my cough, sore throat and voicelessness. My voice is still very course. Tomorrow I will instruct the school children with sign language or whispers. :PThe GP did ask if I need an MC, I declined the offer. There are 1001 things waiting to be done in school, these next two weeks are crucial. No matter what, I must complete the term well. God, please give me strength to complete all that need to be done these two weeks. Amen.Strangely, I've been thinking a lot on : "Thirst"
The new course of medicine keeps leaving a dry taste in my mouth and I keep drinking water every half hourly, even in the middle of the night. (Think I will keep my water bottle next to my bed tonight so that I need not make numerous trips to the kitchen).This thirst reminds me of the spiritual thirst each one of us have within us.
In school, May San just spoke to the children about the Samaritan woman whom Jesus met at the well. The comparision of drinking water and living water is obvious. To go on, I need the living water too. And constantly. My soul is thirsty. And I wonder, is it extra testing or work of the devil? For the first time, I told May Wong that I would visit her cell group last Friday. She had been inviting my family to her cell since a year ago. We had only visited once, which was their Chinese New Year Cell celebration. But we only stayed an hour that night as Zoe was upset that her best friend had other friends to play with. And guess what? That Friday morning, I received an sms from May, that cell was cancelled. Hmmmm ....... Thirst, thirst .....By the evening time, I began to feel very unwell. Brought the children to Changi Airport and we had to leave within an hour as I was feeling very drowsy due to the cough medicine. Sat? Totally voiceless. It is very frustrating to be voiceless. I had to attend a workshop in the morning. And being unable to talk, I can't participate in the discussion, or even ask the instructor questions. Nevermind, I will pen down my questions then. The group so far is boring. No one wanna contribute constructively and actively and it was a one way talking thingy from the instructor to us. Com'on people, be more proactive, this course is expensive to begin with. Then, without my voice, other frustrations came in, like not being understood when I tried to answer his questions. Like being "har?" at 1001 times? Very irritable mood built up in me. Plus, when Zoe strayed away from me, I was expected to call her back. Excuse me? How to? Since I have NO Voice???? Why don't he call her for me? Super frustrating evening! Sunday, due to the medicine, I was in bed most parts of the day. I am constantly thirsty. And I know, I am even more thirsty within. May I soul begin to worship again.
Amen.
Love,Jesselyn Ng
A Song :
Here I am waiting.
Abide in me, I pray.
Here I am longing,
For You.
Hide me in Your love,
Bring me to my knees.
May I know Jesus,
More and more.
Come, breathe in me,
All my life,
Take over.
Come, live in me.
And I will soar,
On eagle's wings."
Building Moral Intelligence
Building Moral Intelligence
Top 10 Reasons to Build Student’s Moral IQ
Moral Intelligence is what helps children act right with or without our guidance, and the best news is that this critical intelligence can be taught. Here are 10 reasons why we must build our students’ Moral IQ.1. Nurtures Good Character. The foundation to good character--or "moral intelligence"-- consists of seven core virtues: empathy, conscience, self-control, respect, kindness, tolerance, and fairness. These ultimately form our children's character and are the principles they'll use to direct the course of their lives long after we are gone. Building Moral IQ is our best hope that kids will have the foundation to good, solid character. 2. Teaches How To Think and Act Right. In these troubling times, parents need to know ways to help their kids learn to not only think morally but also act morally. After all, the true measure of character rests in our actions-- not in mere thoughts. Moral Intelligence teaches the specific moral habits that will get our kids on the right course so that they do act as well as think right.3. Moral IQ Is Not Guaranteed. Moral IQ is learned, though developing it is far from guaranteed. To ensure kids acquire it, we must intentionally model, nurture, reinforce, and teach it. If we don't the result is tragic: an increase in insensitivity, dishonesty, aggression, incivility, cruelty, hatred, and injustice. We must be deliberate.4. Protects Against Toxicity. The truth is toxic influences are so entrenched in our culture that shielding kids from them is almost impossible. That's why it's crucial to build Moral IQ. It will serve as their moral compass so they have deep-seated convictions to stand by their choices and counter any pressures from inside or outside that go against the principles of good character.5. Teaches Critical Life Skills. Moral IQ is comprised of the skills needed to protect kids' moral lives such as resolving conflicts, empathizing, knowing right from wrong, asserting themselves, controlling anger, learning tolerance, negotiating fairly, communicating respectfully, cooperating, using self control, sharing, and knowing right from wrong. These skills are needed in all life arenas, and especially in today's troubled world.6. Creates Good Citizens. It's important to remember that the most important measure of a nation is not its gross national product, its technological genius, or its military might. It is the character of its people. Moral intelligence consists of seven timeless virtues that are the bedrock of good citizenship and responsible living.7. Counters Temptations. Moral Intelligence gives kids the power to counter outside and inside vices so that they do what's right. It's what helps them navigate through the ethical challenges and pressures they will inevitably face throughout life and choose the right moral choices so they do act right with or without adult guidance.8. Prevents Violence and Cruelty. Of the 26 wealthiest countries, our (USA) youth are the most violent. And peer cruelty is rising. Yet we continue to erect metal detectors and hire guards to "protect" students from themselves. The best protection is fortifying them with Moral IQ and to teach three core virtues that lay the foundation for nonviolence: empathy, conscience, and self-control. Without them, kids become time bombs just waiting for explode. We can't afford not to build their Moral Intelligence: it's our best hope.9. Inspires Good Behavior. Moral IQ is comprised of the essential moral virtues needed to help our kids become decent, caring, and respectful. These seven virtues become a template for creating our kids' character, guiding their actions, and ultimately defining their reputations as caring, good human beings.10. Shapes Moral Destinies. Moral growth is an ongoing process that will span the course of our children's lifetimes. But the habits and beliefs of Moral Intelligence we instill in our kids now will become their ethical foundation they'll use forever. It is what will greatly decide our children's moral destinies and will be our greatest legacy.
How to Accentuate Respect and Eliminate Disrespect in Your Students
Many of today’s students lack an understanding of respect because their experiences with this essential character trait have been minimal.
Think about it: If you are rarely around people who display respect and if you aren’t treated as though you are a valued and worthwhile individual, how can you possible “catch the behavior?”
That’s the secret of learning new character building behaviors—they’re caught by watching others do them well. Today’s schools and classrooms are enormously significant institutions because for many students these places may be the only times appropriate character building traits can be taught. If you recognize this premise, you’ll also recognize the power of educators. Tune up the behavior you want to be caught and accentuate it.
Here’s how:1. Model respectful statements.
Never forget how you impact your students—you may very well be their only model of respect! You may wish to say respectful statements so that the class may hear you: “Thank you, Mrs. Smith, for sharing your slides with us. We really appreciated them.” Or, “Excuse me, Sally, I didn’t mean to interrupt you.” For many students this may be the only time they hear what respect sounds like.2. Accentuate respect.
In any environment, establish a firm commandment, “You may not talk hurtfully about yourself or others.” Put it in your own words if you like, but post it in a highly visible location, such as on the door, along the length of the chalkboard, or on a bulletin board.3. Build awareness of respectful language.
Like is or not, we have become a negative, disrespectful society that too often emphasizes sarcasm, put-downs and disrespect. Listen to the popular sit-coms on television and count the frequency of statements based on negativity, ridicule and sarcasm. Studies show the average student is watching a minimum of three hours of television a night. Many of today’s students are reared in homes seeping in disrespect and negativity. So don’t assume your students know the language. Why not brainstorm lists as a class of statements that show respect and post them as a reminder that there are other choices to replace disrespect. “Thank you for sharing.” “What would your opinion be?” “Are you okay?” “Thank you.”4. Label appropriate respectful language.
Many students need help in distinguishing between appropriate language and destructive language. They man have said disrespectful put-down statements so often they’ve conditioned themselves to say the negative. It is helpful to label appropriate and inappropriate language for students.
Terms that can be used to describe appropriate respectful language (depending on the age of your students) include: “Compliment,” “Sparkler,” “Validator,” “Booster,” “Builder-upper,” “Respect.” Inappropriate disrespectful language can be labeled by terms such as “Disrespectful,” “Zinger,” “Terminator,” “Put-down,” “ Detonator.”
Choose one term from each category, teach it to students and then consistently use it to label character builder language. “That’s a put-up,” or “That’s a put-down.” Remember, your attempts at teaching students the skills of positive, respectful language will be greatly enhanced if students her the same key phrases, encouragement, vocabulary and tone.
5. Reinforce respectful statements.
Reinforce what you want to be repeated. Try to key in on the students’ respectful statements and forget the disrespectful ones for awhile. It’s easier to change behavior by focusing on the positive aspects instead of the negative.
Some students, however, make that very tough to do and will almost provoke you to put them down. If you remember that you’re only hooking into their game if you do, it’s be easier to stay focused on the respectful.
6. Practice respectful behavior skills.
Listing respectful statements on a poster, while helpful, is not enough to change students’ behavior. Students must be given opportunities to practice respectful behavior.
In many cases, positive character building skills will be unfamiliar to your students; they may not have been exposed tot he skills frequently enough for mastery or they may never have been exposed to them all.
We can no longer assume today’s students have acquired any of the essential character building skills and habits.
Keep in mind that many students may not be comfortable saying respectful statements. These students should be allowed to choose the kids of statements that they feel safe saying. “Hello,” “Hi,” “How are you?” or a smile and eye contact are appropriate first steps. Keep things in perspective: what kinds of behavior were they using yesterday? Think in baby steps.
Steps to Eliminate Disrespect
We all know that changing habits takes time and effort. Many students have been locked into saying and displaying disrespectful words and behaviors for years. We certainly can’t expect overnight success. So do expect skill backsliding for awhile in which a child will start to demonstrate the new skill, then just when you think they have moved up a notch on the respect ladder, the next day they’re back to where they had been or worse off than they were before.
These are normal patterns to expert since our behavior tends to resort to what we’re most comfortable with—that’s why habits are also so difficult to change. Don’t despair and never give up! You can help students learn more respectful behavior by slowly replacing their own disrespectful habits.
These next techniques show you ways to replace the older habits with newer, more appropriate ones.
The most important rule for your success is this: “Be Consistent.”
1. Draw awareness to disrespect.
Whenever students go against your classroom “respect commandment,” be careful not to be negative toward their already disrespectful disposition. Disrespect quickly breeds disrespect.
Casually mention, “Remember, we only say respectful words.”
Some teachers use a private code or signal between themselves and certain students. Each time the students says a disrespectful comment, the teacher says a word such as “Zap!” or uses a quiet signal (such as raising one finger) as a reminder to stop.Often students are not aware of how many disrespectful statements they are saying.
2. Label disrespect…Call it!
Students need to recognize disrespectful put-downs by saying a code word or making a sound immediately back to the sender. The code should be agreed upon by all students so that they recognize it. Words such as “disrespectful putdown,” “pricklie,” “zinger” or sounds such as “ouch,” “Buz-z-z-“ will help the send recognize that the statement was inappropriate.
3. Teach skills to defuse disrespect.
If the objective is to squelch disrespect on campus, then it is critical to teach everyone (peers and staff) to take the same steps in handling disrespectful actions.
“Defuser” skills can calm disrespectful behaviors before they detonate into a full explosion (usually physical or verbal retaliation).
Teach skills to replace negativity. Many of our students are locked into disrespectful, inappropriate behavior patterns simply because they don’t know what to do instead.
Asking them to “Be more respectful” or “Act nicer” has no value if the student does not know how to demonstrate the skills of respect or kindness. These skills need to be taught. Keep in mind, however, that new behaviors take a tremendous amount of repetition and commitment before they can replace the older, more comfortable habits.
Students will slip back easily into older disrespectful behavior patterns unless the newer skills of respect are continually reinforced and practiced.
Consistency and reinforcement are critical.
Don’t give up, though! Respectful attitudes are contagious.
Moral Intelligence Checklist for Students :
yes no The student (without adult reminders or coaxing) regularly:
____ ____ Shows sensitivity and has a lot of feeling for others.
____ ____ Tries to see things from the other person's view, not just his own.
____ ____ Is honest and trustworthy; can be counted on to keep his word.
____ ____ Feels shame or guilt about his wrong actions; accepts the blame.
____ ____ Easily calms down when excited or angry; copes with behavioral impulses
____ ____ Behaves appropriately without reminders; thinks before acting.
____ ____ Treats everyone respectfully and courteously; no back talk or sass.
____ ____ Shares, helps, or comforts others without expecting something in return.
____ ____ Is open-minded: listens to all sides before forming opinions.
____ ____ Focuses on the positive traits of others instead of their differences.
____ ____ Tries to solve problems fairly and peacefully; willing to compromise.
____ ____ Total Score
If you checked less than 8 "yes" it means the child’s Moral IQ could use some boosting. Remember: it's never too early-or late-to begin.
occupational diseases ........... sigh ............
This morning, it was my turn to share in the Staff Devotion, I noticed that for the last three rounds, each time it was my turn, each time I was down with sore throat, fever and cough.
Today, it started with cough, and now, I'm voiceless .... I already seen my GP twice. :(. Don't tell me another round to the clinic ?
I will try all the natural remedies first, if really cannot clear my throat, then no choice but to see my GP on Sunday night. I need to get my voice back. Next week is another fire fighting week in school. So many things have to be done before school closes on 31 August.
Jess
a waiting God
Isaiah 30 : 18"and therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you;He lifts Himself up, that He may have mercy on youand show loving-kindness to you.For the Lord is a God of justice.Blessed are those who wait for, (who expect and look and long for Him).
I hope God will speak to hearts
Finally, this morning, I had the opportunity to speak to my Principal and got some things off my chest.
Have always been wanted to find a chance to tell her about these issues, but usually very bad timings and maybe I lack the courage for fear that I may not be able to present myself well.
God was with us in that tiny office. She was all smiles. And we will leave the situation to the Hand of God.
"Lord, if You are willing, please speak to the hearts of men. Let all things work together for good, for those who love You and are called according to Your purpose. Amen."
Love,
Jess
Sick and still thinking of work
Have not been well since two weeks back.Seen my GP once, finished all the medicine and did not fully recover. How to recover? As teachers, we have to use our voices. And occasionally raise them. After the National Day hol, I find my throat soring again. This time round I know, it will lead to throat inflammation, followed by fever and backache. It is not that I am self prophesizing, just that since I started teaching in an open concept school, it has been so each time my throat acts up. The first year of teaching was bad. I saw my GP for this problem any other month and the fever could run really high. This year, the frequency has reduced. Anyway, this second round to the GP, I pressed him for anti-biotics. An unwise thing to do, I know. But, only with anti-biotics, then this soreness and inflammation will go. As a mother to two young children, I can't afford to be sick for too long, being sick for too long also means higher chance of them catching the virus from me. So, I've been diligently making sure I get well fast. When I was a "Miss Liau", such things won't nag at me too much. Really not well? Take your well-deserved MC lah. Anyway, in a school's culture, it will be manageable for a teacher to go on one day MC, your colleagues can cover your duties for you. If it is more than a day, you will be seen as taxing and stretching your colleagues. Unless, the school practices engaging relief teachers. This dun always happen in my preschool.Can't help thinking about work even when lying in bed. The mind is still mapping, planning, visualizing, conceptualizing, etc... do all teachers have this occupational hazard? I still find myself typing away and surfing on my lap-top each time I got up from bed. Later, I will still write the lessons' plans. Tomorrow is Monday. So fast, yah ?Thankfully, no family dinner tonight. Love,Jesselyn Ng
counting down ....
13 more school weeks to go for the year 2006.
13 more weeks to be with my K1 students.
13 more weeks before I see them moving on to K2 for year 2007.
By Mental Calculation, I'm breaking down my teaching focus by the remaining 13 weeks.
3 weeks (Term 3) : Theme on Occupation. Focus will be on Creative Writing.
6 weeks (Term 4 before Concert Week) : Theme on Food. All about Food. Money Concept to be introduced. Real life buying experiences to be conducted.
3 weeks (Term 4 after Concert) : More complex concepts to be taught with hands on approaches. Preparation for K2.
That's it. My broad planning.
Now ..... my micro planning. Ok, back to my detailed lesson planning.
Love,
Jesselyn Ng
How interesting ...
Just this morning, I read Delci's hs blog (again).
Chanced upon one of her friend's comments in her blog.
I've heard a lot about this lady from Delci.
She's a teacher too.
She's a mum to two too.
She also likes to write.
She has one special child, and a very brilliant child, I must say.
I did thought of getting to know her through Delci, but never get to do it. I'm also too shy to leave a comment in her blog (well, we are still perfect strangers).
Anyway, after reading her comment in Delci's blog, I was thinking this morning on my way to Sc Ctr, that maybe I would wanna know more about what she suggested.
Lo and behold, I met her at Sc Ctr, Waterworks, at a perfect timing, when our boys were there (at the same time).
It was a very pleasant encounter.
Glad to know you, Janice.
Love,
Jesselyn
school holiday today !
Today will be a simple day for three of us.Initially, wanted to take Zoe and Zane out in the morning. Just realised that today is Zane's therapy day! smsed Evonne and re-confirmed the session. Ok, so, therapy for Zane in the morning and art class for Zoe in the afternoon.There goes my school holiday, hmmmm ....Oh yes, I want to clean the house. It has been extra dusty since the * month started. Sigh ......Mummy and Maid Jess
what a surprise, what a bonus !
What a Surprise !
After I entered the last blog, while getting ready to leave the house, received a call from my new Principal. She told me about the exemption which they intended to give to me. This I know is the doing of Choo and Tang. Anyway, I know, I am expected to be there tomorrow, I will be there. And I am going because my students and their parents are expecting me and a few would want to discuss their children's progress. I will not put the Principal in a difficult position. I know the grounds for giving me exemption isn't strong, though I appreciate the gesture of thoughtfulness very much. Anyway, today, the Family Day went on very fine. Very good planning from the church's side. The weather was perfect. Thank You, Lord. What a bonus!
Yesterday, by the time we met hubby, it was already 7.30pm. The kids were very hungry and so we had dinner at the nearest coffee shop first. This turned out to be a bonus.As usual, after dinner, we wanted to head to Changi Airport, our favourite place for the children to run about. And, this, also turned out to be a bonus.I noticed the unusual slow traffic along ECP. Plus the jam around Shenton Way, which will never happen on a weekday ..... unless, unless, unless ........wanna make a guess?Some of you might have got it......... ! Unless there is a fireworks display show !!!!!We were at the tail end of the Benjamin Shears Bridge. ECP is a 5 lanes' expressway. But, 3 lanes of cars just stopped and waited for the fireworks to begin! Of course traffic police would be powerless. They could only ensure public saftey.The crazy thing was : when the fireworks display started, many drivers and passesngers just got off the cars and walked towards the grass patch area to catch a better view. Some would place their kids on the cars' roofs!! This is so crazy !! And can be seen as dangerous. Only safe coz no vehicle could move since there weren't any drivers in the first place. Ha !!Zoe enjoyed the fireworks display from within the car. Today, her art work is fireworks and more fireworks, on her hands, btw. This is truly a great bonus, esp for Zoe. We had a great night out.The children slept very well. Till 10.30 or 11am in fact.I'm glad the Lord made this day went very well and joyous. It turned out to be a good holiday afterall. Thank You, Lord, You are so kind. I know You care. Love,Jesselyn Ng
though a simple gesture, but i felt loved
This morning, I received an sms from my darling. He said if he can find a car with a reasonable price, he will rent one. Now, my mind is rather slow nowadays. So, I thought he may be talking about car-sharing. Or weekend cars. Anyway, I didn't reply to that sms. Then, in the afternoon, I received another sms from him, saying that he has rented a car from 6pm till 6 pm tomorrow. Price? $110!To me, that is pricey. But when I know it is because he wants to fetch me from my "workplace" tomorrow, my heart melted. So, before 6pm, I've got the children ready. All bathed and all set to leave the house. We will have a late night out. The children can sleep in later tomorrow morning while I report for work. Then, hopefully, with their appearance, I can leave the premise earlier. I can't imagine I gotta stay till 2.45pm for the bus transport. That means my whole PH is GONE!!????? This is my country.This is my flag.This is my future.This is my life.I want my family.I want my hol.arrrghhhhhh ........Thanks, hubby. I love you.Thank you for loving me. Jess
A time to plant and a time to uproot
Today, had the opportunity to have lunch with Mrs Wong and Mrs Phua again. These two ladies always make it a point to leave the Kindergarten together, today, I chose to join them. Of course that would mean bringing my work home to do. And while lunching, I saw Mrs Wong too, brought her students' work home to mark. She is a dedicated and detailed teacher, I must say. The fellowship across the table was brief but fruitful. It was a good time of sharing. The subjects of course will evolve around the Kindergarten, the teachers, the principals, the children and the parents. Shared some tips with Mrs Wong as to how to tackle different situations as with regards to children and the parents. She is a very diligent lady and best of all, humble. In the midst of the sharing, Mrs Wong assumed that my class is that well behaved because I have the privilege to follow them up from Nursery. Well, consistency is something we teachers must practise if we want the children to respect and obey us. We carry out what we say and we keep our promises. There is a time to praise and there is also a time to correct. I enjoy my class very much. I wish .... they will be in good hands.A time to plant and a time to uproot.To plant foundation in them and to uproot myself, coz the seedlings in my very own yard need me. Love,Jesselyn
A Time For Everything
Some things in life, once they are lost, they are gone forever.
Some things in life, once they had past you by, they would never be back again.
Some things in life, they are just meant to be with you for a season of your life. They are not meant to stay.
So, learn to let go.
And, learn to move on.
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:a time to be born and a time to die,a time to plant and a time to uproot,a time to kill and a time to heal,a time to tear down and a time to build,a time to weep and a time to laugh,a time to mourn and a time to dance,a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,a time to embrace and a time to refrain,a time to search and a time to give up,a time to keep and a time to throw away,a time to tear and a time to mend,a time to be silent and a time to speak,a time to love and a time to hate,a time for war and a time for peace."
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8* dear readers, please do not take these verses literally. God is against murder, so when it says a time to kill, it may mean a time to kill a passion (something non-living) or a memory, not to kill a person.
Jess
How can such a thing happen ????
For a few minutes, my heart stopped beating just now.
Usually Zoe and Zane will race to the lift lobby once we step out of the house.
Usually Zoe will win.
Usually Zoe will hold the lift door for all of us.
Just now, Zane was too fast. He reached the lift first, he happily went in and he didn't know how to hold the lift. So ..... he could only watch the door closed !!!!!
When I rushed to the lift with Zoe, Zane was already on his way down !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Arrgghhhhhhh ..... how can such a thing happen??????
I really panicked !!!! Big time !!!!
And ...... the lift stopped at level 9 and it started to come back up !!!
This will never happen, but it did !!!
Our flat's lifts are the old generation type, only goes up or down all the way, no such thing as stop mid way and go back up again. So, if you are at level 5, and need to go to Level 12. You will have to take lift to Level 1 and then go to Level 12.
I am thankful for the miracle.
Zane burst out crying when he saw me. I was so glad that the lift did not go all the way down. It was near school dismissal time and many cars were moving in and out of my carpark.
Thank God. Gan Xie Zhu. :)
Love,
Jess
I am glad that ......
I am glad that many of my students' parents opted to let their children continue in the school. I do wish that I can follow my students up for their final year. And that, for now, remains as a wish.
I am beginning to see the fruits of my labour in my students. They are beginning to write and a handful of them can even manage a paragraph. Since day one I took the class, I exposed them to lots of reading and prints. I get them to express their thoughts whenever I flash a picture. I encourage them to build on their sentences. And now, they are writing their expressions out, all on their own. I am so glad to see even the weaker students managing the tasks well. Today, as I put up their love expressions to our nation on the display board, I was beaming with pride. They are also confident speakers now. With the regular show and tell, plus coming up in front of the class to attempt to read a book, answer a question, etc. the children now are no longer shy when they are in the "limelight". There is also much less prompting from me. This round's show and tell is so purely children's input and achievements. There are still a few more projects at hand. I know they can manage. I just need more time with them. Let me clear the national day and butterfly park ones first. Busy, busy, busy ..... but glad .....Love,Jesselyn Ng
