Building Moral Intelligence
Building Moral Intelligence
Top 10 Reasons to Build Student’s Moral IQ
Moral Intelligence is what helps children act right with or without our guidance, and the best news is that this critical intelligence can be taught.
Here are 10 reasons why we must build our students’ Moral IQ.
1. Nurtures Good Character.
The foundation to good character--or "moral intelligence"-- consists of seven core virtues: empathy, conscience, self-control, respect, kindness, tolerance, and fairness. These ultimately form our children's character and are the principles they'll use to direct the course of their lives long after we are gone. Building Moral IQ is our best hope that kids will have the foundation to good, solid character.
2. Teaches How To Think and Act Right.
In these troubling times, parents need to know ways to help their kids learn to not only think morally but also act morally. After all, the true measure of character rests in our actions-- not in mere thoughts.
Moral Intelligence teaches the specific moral habits that will get our kids on the right course so that they do act as well as think right.
3. Moral IQ Is Not Guaranteed.
Moral IQ is learned, though developing it is far from guaranteed. To ensure kids acquire it, we must intentionally model, nurture, reinforce, and teach it.
If we don't the result is tragic: an increase in insensitivity, dishonesty, aggression, incivility, cruelty, hatred, and injustice. We must be deliberate.
4. Protects Against Toxicity.
The truth is toxic influences are so entrenched in our culture that shielding kids from them is almost impossible. That's why it's crucial to build Moral IQ. It will serve as their moral compass so they have deep-seated convictions to stand by their choices and counter any pressures from inside or outside that go against the principles of good character.
5. Teaches Critical Life Skills.
Moral IQ is comprised of the skills needed to protect kids' moral lives such as resolving conflicts, empathizing, knowing right from wrong, asserting themselves, controlling anger, learning tolerance, negotiating fairly, communicating respectfully, cooperating, using self control, sharing, and knowing right from wrong.
These skills are needed in all life arenas, and especially in today's troubled world.
6. Creates Good Citizens.
It's important to remember that the most important measure of a nation is not its gross national product, its technological genius, or its military might. It is the character of its people.
Moral intelligence consists of seven timeless virtues that are the bedrock of good citizenship and responsible living.
7. Counters Temptations.
Moral Intelligence gives kids the power to counter outside and inside vices so that they do what's right. It's what helps them navigate through the ethical challenges and pressures they will inevitably face throughout life and choose the right moral choices so they do act right with or without adult guidance.
8. Prevents Violence and Cruelty.
Of the 26 wealthiest countries, our (USA) youth are the most violent. And peer cruelty is rising. Yet we continue to erect metal detectors and hire guards to "protect" students from themselves.
The best protection is fortifying them with Moral IQ and to teach three core virtues that lay the foundation for nonviolence: empathy, conscience, and self-control.
Without them, kids become time bombs just waiting for explode. We can't afford not to build their Moral Intelligence: it's our best hope.
9. Inspires Good Behavior.
Moral IQ is comprised of the essential moral virtues needed to help our kids become decent, caring, and respectful. These seven virtues become a template for creating our kids' character, guiding their actions, and ultimately defining their reputations as caring, good human beings.
10. Shapes Moral Destinies.
Moral growth is an ongoing process that will span the course of our children's lifetimes. But the habits and beliefs of Moral Intelligence we instill in our kids now will become their ethical foundation they'll use forever. It is what will greatly decide our children's moral destinies and will be our greatest legacy.
How to Accentuate Respect and Eliminate Disrespect in Your Students
Many of today’s students lack an understanding of respect because their experiences with this essential character trait have been minimal.
Think about it: If you are rarely around people who display respect and if you aren’t treated as though you are a valued and worthwhile individual, how can you possible “catch the behavior?”
That’s the secret of learning new character building behaviors—they’re caught by watching others do them well. Today’s schools and classrooms are enormously significant institutions because for many students these places may be the only times appropriate character building traits can be taught.
If you recognize this premise, you’ll also recognize the power of educators. Tune up the behavior you want to be caught and accentuate it.
Here’s how:
1. Model respectful statements.
Never forget how you impact your students—you may very well be their only model of respect! You may wish to say respectful statements so that the class may hear you: “Thank you, Mrs. Smith, for sharing your slides with us. We really appreciated them.” Or, “Excuse me, Sally, I didn’t mean to interrupt you.” For many students this may be the only time they hear what respect sounds like.
2. Accentuate respect.
In any environment, establish a firm commandment, “You may not talk hurtfully about yourself or others.” Put it in your own words if you like, but post it in a highly visible location, such as on the door, along the length of the chalkboard, or on a bulletin board.
3. Build awareness of respectful language.
Like is or not, we have become a negative, disrespectful society that too often emphasizes sarcasm, put-downs and disrespect. Listen to the popular sit-coms on television and count the frequency of statements based on negativity, ridicule and sarcasm.
Studies show the average student is watching a minimum of three hours of television a night. Many of today’s students are reared in homes seeping in disrespect and negativity.
So don’t assume your students know the language. Why not brainstorm lists as a class of statements that show respect and post them as a reminder that there are other choices to replace disrespect. “Thank you for sharing.” “What would your opinion be?” “Are you okay?” “Thank you.”
4. Label appropriate respectful language.
Many students need help in distinguishing between appropriate language and destructive language. They man have said disrespectful put-down statements so often they’ve conditioned themselves to say the negative. It is helpful to label appropriate and inappropriate language for students.
Terms that can be used to describe appropriate respectful language (depending on the age of your students) include: “Compliment,” “Sparkler,” “Validator,” “Booster,” “Builder-upper,” “Respect.” Inappropriate disrespectful language can be labeled by terms such as “Disrespectful,” “Zinger,” “Terminator,” “Put-down,” “ Detonator.”
Choose one term from each category, teach it to students and then consistently use it to label character builder language. “That’s a put-up,” or “That’s a put-down.”
Remember, your attempts at teaching students the skills of positive, respectful language will be greatly enhanced if students her the same key phrases, encouragement, vocabulary and tone.
5. Reinforce respectful statements.
Reinforce what you want to be repeated. Try to key in on the students’ respectful statements and forget the disrespectful ones for awhile. It’s easier to change behavior by focusing on the positive aspects instead of the negative.
Some students, however, make that very tough to do and will almost provoke you to put them down. If you remember that you’re only hooking into their game if you do, it’s be easier to stay focused on the respectful.
6. Practice respectful behavior skills.
Listing respectful statements on a poster, while helpful, is not enough to change students’ behavior. Students must be given opportunities to practice respectful behavior.
In many cases, positive character building skills will be unfamiliar to your students; they may not have been exposed tot he skills frequently enough for mastery or they may never have been exposed to them all.
We can no longer assume today’s students have acquired any of the essential character building skills and habits.
Keep in mind that many students may not be comfortable saying respectful statements. These students should be allowed to choose the kids of statements that they feel safe saying. “Hello,” “Hi,” “How are you?” or a smile and eye contact are appropriate first steps. Keep things in perspective: what kinds of behavior were they using yesterday? Think in baby steps.
Steps to Eliminate Disrespect
We all know that changing habits takes time and effort. Many students have been locked into saying and displaying disrespectful words and behaviors for years. We certainly can’t expect overnight success. So do expect skill backsliding for awhile in which a child will start to demonstrate the new skill, then just when you think they have moved up a notch on the respect ladder, the next day they’re back to where they had been or worse off than they were before.
These are normal patterns to expert since our behavior tends to resort to what we’re most comfortable with—that’s why habits are also so difficult to change. Don’t despair and never give up! You can help students learn more respectful behavior by slowly replacing their own disrespectful habits.
These next techniques show you ways to replace the older habits with newer, more appropriate ones.
The most important rule for your success is this: “Be Consistent.”
1. Draw awareness to disrespect.
Whenever students go against your classroom “respect commandment,” be careful not to be negative toward their already disrespectful disposition. Disrespect quickly breeds disrespect.
Casually mention, “Remember, we only say respectful words.”
Some teachers use a private code or signal between themselves and certain students. Each time the students says a disrespectful comment, the teacher says a word such as “Zap!” or uses a quiet signal (such as raising one finger) as a reminder to stop.Often students are not aware of how many disrespectful statements they are saying.
2. Label disrespect…Call it!
Students need to recognize disrespectful put-downs by saying a code word or making a sound immediately back to the sender. The code should be agreed upon by all students so that they recognize it. Words such as “disrespectful putdown,” “pricklie,” “zinger” or sounds such as “ouch,” “Buz-z-z-“ will help the send recognize that the statement was inappropriate.
3. Teach skills to defuse disrespect.
If the objective is to squelch disrespect on campus, then it is critical to teach everyone (peers and staff) to take the same steps in handling disrespectful actions.
“Defuser” skills can calm disrespectful behaviors before they detonate into a full explosion (usually physical or verbal retaliation).
Teach skills to replace negativity. Many of our students are locked into disrespectful, inappropriate behavior patterns simply because they don’t know what to do instead.
Asking them to “Be more respectful” or “Act nicer” has no value if the student does not know how to demonstrate the skills of respect or kindness. These skills need to be taught. Keep in mind, however, that new behaviors take a tremendous amount of repetition and commitment before they can replace the older, more comfortable habits.
Students will slip back easily into older disrespectful behavior patterns unless the newer skills of respect are continually reinforced and practiced.
Consistency and reinforcement are critical.
Don’t give up, though! Respectful attitudes are contagious.
Moral Intelligence Checklist for Students :
yes no The student (without adult reminders or coaxing) regularly:
____ ____ Shows sensitivity and has a lot of feeling for others.
____ ____ Tries to see things from the other person's view, not just his own.
____ ____ Is honest and trustworthy; can be counted on to keep his word.
____ ____ Feels shame or guilt about his wrong actions; accepts the blame.
____ ____ Easily calms down when excited or angry; copes with behavioral impulses
____ ____ Behaves appropriately without reminders; thinks before acting.
____ ____ Treats everyone respectfully and courteously; no back talk or sass.
____ ____ Shares, helps, or comforts others without expecting something in return.
____ ____ Is open-minded: listens to all sides before forming opinions.
____ ____ Focuses on the positive traits of others instead of their differences.
____ ____ Tries to solve problems fairly and peacefully; willing to compromise.
____ ____ Total Score
If you checked less than 8 "yes" it means the child’s Moral IQ could use some boosting. Remember: it's never too early-or late-to begin.
posted by Jesselyn Ng @ 5:06 PM
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