The holidays are coming to an ........ end ........
This school holidays are slipping through my fingers mercilessly. I can only wish for a longer holiday.It seems like it has not really started and now it is ending.Two more weekdays left and I intend to go back to school to set up my stall and get ready for business. ** hahahaha **.Today, swinged by Art Friend and I had the delight of one of my best friend's company. After much debate, decided to drop the idea of getting the very nice wrapping paper for my board's backdrop. One metre at $1.89. Dunno how much I will need. And .... no reimbursement, so ... I will save that. I settled for tissue coloured paper instead. At least may look nicer than crepe or construction paper. Anyway, dunno school any stock or not, so better bring my own paper down.Zoe just gets very excited over Ethan each time they come together. She is just so happy to see Ethan and to play with him. It was a very easy morning. I am especially touched to be invited by Ethan to his house. He is just so sweet. I like that wiggle hug he gave to Zoe. And I know, Zoe likes it too. Delci's Zoe looks good in Zoe's shoes! See how steadily she walks and she seems to know that she is wearing a different pair of shoes. I'm glad Delci likes some of the stuffs. My Zoe is a late walker, so many of the smaller sized shoes were lightly worn. Think that pair which little Zoe put on today? She wore only 3 times, if I remembered correctly. As I think back, I don't think I did anything much this holiday. Some things which I've done at the highest frequencies will be meeting up with Delci and bringing Zoe to GA. The best investment I've made this holiday is spending solo time with Zoe. She has indeed grown up quite a bit. She is having a mind of her own now. She has her preferences and she makes sure she is being heard. She has certain ways of wanting things to be done and I have to leave it. This weekend will be pretty busy. Two gatherings, one meet-up with an old friend and a wedding to attend. It is good to keep up with old friends. I hope to make it there for all four appointments. But, first, we have to accede to Birthday Girl's requests again tomorrow. Zoe wants a Hello Kitty, as birthday present.An Elmo cake with 5 candles on it for her to blow.A boat ride off Esplanade.Hmmmm .... my little princess is beginning to know how to make requests now. @ Delci, you see what I mean? Which is why I save on their Christmas gifts. The day will come when they will request. And Zoe's birthday is too near to Christmas. kekeke .... It is a day well-spent and tomorrow will be even better. Thank God for the fine weather today. It rained elephants and hippos yesterday. Love,Jesselyn Ng
It Feels Good To Be Neat
Before I was married, I am never so neat.
If you had seen my Toa Payoh flat or Chai Chee flat, you will know what I mean.
When I was teaching in PPH, I had seasons for bags. Meaning, for one term, I may be using the same bag and paper/plastic bags, so all the things which I used would be in that bag, never sorted out or packed away. So, when I needed to trace my stuffs, I needed to recall which season did I use them. Hahaha ... tedious? Not at all, I could work easily through my organised mess. And I always told my mum, "Do not touch my stuffs of pack my things for me."
Hahahaha .... those were the days.
I remembered when I first stayed together with Josh, it was also like that. Seasons of bags, for almost a year. He couldn't stand that and was always clearing the bags off the floor.
Over the years, I've become neater.
Now, at times, I can't stand mess.
Now, I pack almost everything in boxes and shelves.
Now, I file everything.
Now, I don't keep so much junk. Or if I really have to, may store them away in sealed boxes.
I enjoyed packing and tidying yesterday.
And it was especially fun when you have your beloved doing it together with you. We didn't pack the same stuffs, but the simultanous packing action motivated me.
When I stepped into the kitchen after calling it a day for the study room, I welcome the new arrangement definitely.
I love you, my love. I know why you are for me. So that I can be neater ! Hahahaha !!!!
Love,
Jessselyn Ng
It's nice to be remembered :)
Even though I've left E for some months now, and I did it most silently, I do miss some of the people there.
On Christmas Day, it was comforting knowing that a couple of these folks were looking out for me in E to pass me the gifts they've bought for me. I am very touched.
With E, I can only say, it takes two to tango. I may be perceived as being aloof and in a world of my own. Let it be.
As I look back, I know I did my best in everything. Not once have I slackened. But, I should know better that there was an unwritten rule that you just do your jobs, no questions asked. I should not stand up for what I thought I should. I should only say "yes".
A scan through the leaders' strengths and I can see the outstanding trait among the long survivors.
Passive commitment. Not in the sense that the commitment is passive. Or rather the committor is passive.
Anyway, I've closed that chapter of my life with E.
May God bless her bountifiully till overflowing. No one can beat E in good works and generosity. If only the works come with more love, not just the act of loving through giving. Many a times, people need people too. On this note, I hope, one day, I can bless those who had been very generous to my family over the years. Please Lord, grant me this wish.
Love,
Zhen
stress, and yet thankful .... also guilty .... :(
At 9.30am, I wrote :Guess nothing stresses us mums more than to see our children unwell.
Zoe has been running high fever since last night.
My father and mother-in-law are not in Singapore.
Josh cannot take leave.
Sister-in-law can't come over for a while.
How am i gonna lug two kids to the clinic alone? esp, the one who is not sick will wail his lungs out. (Gwyneth, if you are reading this, I almost called Miss Tang or Mrs Teo.)
I hate moments like this ...
Chinese, there is a saying :
Jiao4 Tian1 Tian1 Bu4 Ying4.
I can manage, I will survive ....
Frustrated Jess .................................................................At 12.30pm, I wrote:After making a few calls and I know that I was really on my own (again), I put on my super mommy vest and get on to task.
I attempted to bring Zane to school in a cab, but, alas, no cab.
Still, I am thankful, God blessed Zoe with enough strength to bear with a bus journey.
Upon alighting, of all things, my sandal's stripe snapped!
Still, I am thankful, there is a pasar malam at the vicinity and I could get a pair to replace.
After signing Zane in, well, still no cab, so had to take a bus to the clinic.
Still, I am thankful, my girl is strong and hopeful.
"It's ok, mummy, that all the taxis are taken. Zoe can still see the doctor and I will be ok."
At the clinic, aahhhhhhhh, such long queue! Number 17! And we were only at 5!
Still, I am thankful, my girl is patient.
I am thankful, to see Zoe no longer kicks up a fuss when she visits the doctors now. In fact, now, she looks forward to each visit. She used to be very fearful and very uncooperative.
The moment she saw the doctor, she went, "Doctor, I'm sick." and started crying. Everything which the doctor said, she nodded her head.
I am thankful, I brought Zoe to the doctor early.
I am thankful, Zoe took her medicine with minimal resistance. She was an angel. This aspect alone is a great blessing. Zoe used to put up very fierce fights when it was time for medicine. She could go hysterical then.
Now, my girl just told me, she is going to nap, so that she will be well very soon.
I am so thankful.
"In all things, give thanks."
Grateful Jess.............................................................At 5.15pm, I wrote:I felt bad that I had to send Zane to school. If I can keep him with me, I would. But it will be a monstrous task trying to bring him along to the clinic and get food along the way. Zoe slept for 3.5 hrs in a quiet house. And mummy dear felt guilty. sigh sigh sigh .... I know he will have a good time in school, there is Christmas party and all. Sorry, my son.Guilty Mama
Friendships
A few days ago, I read about the reflections of a young friend in her blog over this issue. If I am as young as her now, I think I will feel 100% the same way as she is feeling now over her thought-to-be-her-close-friends friends.By the grace of God, having live on this earth for 32.5 years, I've learnt a few truths.Do unto others what you want them to do to you.In other words, be a friend first.Yet, at the same time, expect nothing in return.Sometimes, the way it is purposed, the blessings of God through His people go in circles. I may be a blessing and giver in Jane's life and Jane may not reciprocate. However, Jane may be a blessing and giver to Ben, who never reciprocates... and the gift goes on. What motivates our loving and giving of ourselves to others? Is it purely just for the sake of being able to be loved too?If that is the motivation, we are in for big time disappointments. To love and give without condition is the way to go. Ask our Lord the greatest commandment of all? It sums up in love.Love the Lord thy God with all your heart, soul and mind.Love thy neighbour as yourself. When we love, we know God better.Life is all about love actually.And God wants us to show special love in the familly. *hard task sometimes, I know.*Many a times, the persons who hurt me most are from the family. I still have to pluck my broken pieces up and said, because you are family, I forgive you. And ........ move on. Now, I only ask to be a blessing in whatever manner the Lord plans.People come and people go.I used to have a whole bunch of very good friends. We grew up together, served in the same ministries together etc.When we really grow up, things really have to change?Maybe, if it is of any comfort to me, it is the seasons in life.When motherhood came for me, I chose a path less travelled. I stayed at home for my young children. That kinda cut me off from the rest of the world. Yet, the Lord has been gracious, He has been blessing me with mummy friends over the years. We click coz we share the same visions for our children. Do we realise that for everyone's life, it just go on and on and on, whether we can keep up with them or not? But, this does not matter, what matter most is, when there is a chance for us to do good (esp to the family), we do it. It is a blessing to give than to receive. Have I been a good friend? I hope my report card will look good before my Lord's eyes.Love,Jesselyn Ng
It's Been A While
From the last posting, it was easily 3 weeks ago. Life around here has been busy. I do almost anything except typing on the lap top. Many times I signed in Blogger, just to sign out within minutes. My mind draws a blank at those times. I also share less in my JM group. Basically, just don't have the brain juice to churn out a decent post. What have I done the last three weeks? First week was bringing the children out. Meeting up with a few old friends, colleagues etc. Second week was back to work. Nothing too constructive, sad to say. Third week was Zane's final review and the start of hubby's one week leave since Thursday.This week was family time at a chalet in Changi Village. Today, back to my normal routine. I'm not too motivated to start work on my own. Well, just wanna wait for inspiration to drop from the sky again. I know when I get the engine started, I won't stop. Meanwhile, I just wish to rest more. Recent days, I wrote a few cards to some friends. Feel funny holding a pen and write on physical cards. Anyway, it was time well spent. Last Saturday, Zoe had the delight to celebrate her 5th Birthday at Garage @Venture. It was her favourite place, with her favourite friends and organised by her favourite teacher. She had a great time. She was a very happy, happy girl for many days. She even dreamt about her birthday.Her guests were Charissa, Joan, Matthew, Shaun Arne, Carol and Michael from her school.Ammar, Alain, Ashley, Amber, Ethan and Zoe from JM.Hannah, Hayley and Sarah from my previous work place.Zane has improved. He managed the big crowd at GA well. I am so touched and blessed seeing Adeline knowing Zane's play style and habits through and through. A very interesting scene happened. Delci's Zoe went over to Zane and attempted to take away the foam letter and number he was holding. They had a tug of war, with Zoe crouching over the letter "x" and Zane over her, trying to retrieve it. Hahaha ... it was quite a sight. Zoe was so adorable. She definitely didn't feel intimidated by the big boys. Zane was upset but relieve that he could retrieve the "x". Zoe was happy when Delci gave her a similar alternative. :)Zane has a very unique way of learning. He will focus on the word, object, numeral or picture which he wants to learn. Then, he will just hang on to that solo object. If the print is stuck onto the floor, he will just keep feeling it. Trying to memorise the shape of the print?His last few self-created lessons were "zebra", "fox" and "lion". He is happy carrying these card-puzzles everywhere he goes. Because of him, I've been getting duplicate sets of books, puzzles etc .... just to feed the learning interest. I like Glowing Seed's adapted books' concept. It is very comforting seeing Zane picked up the pictures so quickly. I will be making new ones for him before term starts. Another thing I hope to do is to go spotlight, art friend and places like these to shop for Zane and Zoe's play spaces. I am very happy Chert cleared lots of space for the kids and I .... it motivated me to step on it. Oh well ..... I better get these done soon. Till the next posting which I wun know when. Love,Jesselyn
