Would you still love me ?
Many a times, I wonder, if Zane can talk, what will he say when he sees certain reactions of the adults when he does something inappropriate or unacceptable.
My imaginery thoughts of Zane, just to remind me to love him, love him and love him.
When I throw myself to the floor, will you still love me? There is something that is not quite right, and I dunno how to tell you, so I throw myself to the floor. I am not being naughty. I don't know why I want to do that. Will you still love me?
When I bite you, will you still love me? I may be frustrated with you because you don't understand what I want or you are not giving me what I want, and so I bite. Will you still love me? Sometimes I bite because there is a sensory overload and I need to let off some of those. Will you still love me? Sometimes I just want to see how you will react when I bite you because I don't seem to feel anything much when my friends bite me, so, will you still love me?
When I bang my head on the floor and hurt myself, will you still love me? I must have been very very mad at you for saying "No", but I do not know how to manage my frustration appropriately yet. Will you still love me?
When I refuse to eat my meals and clam my mouth, will you still love me? When I really don't want to nap and I know you need a break from me badly, will you still love me?
When I make a mess of myself, will you still love me? It makes me sad too, to see you so upset over my mess. I still hope to know, after you spank me, will you still love me?
When my actions invite stares from the public, will you still love me? When I hum and sing loudly on the public bus, will you still love me? When I storm my feet whenever I hear you say, "Let's go, Zane.", will you still love me?
I hope you will still love me. Because I love you.
"I love you, my son. I always will." - Mummy
By Jesselyn Ng, Zane's mummy
posted by Jesselyn Ng @ 10:50 PM
1 Comments:
I hope you'll be blessed with this testimony: http://www.lifewithoutlimbs.org/minister.htm
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