Clay in The Potter's Hands

Three More School Weeks To Go ! Yippee !!

Our 2005 School Concert

28th October, Friday evening, was Galilee's Concert and Graduation Night.
I was in school by 6pm. Changed, whispered a prayer and ready to receive my children.

They started streaming in as early as 6.20pm. I know they were very excited. It was pretty smooth getting them dressed. The only thing I couldn't manage well was make-up. I always thought : from that far off from the stage, who will bother if this face look redder than the other and which pair of eyes have eye-shadows? The main thing that matters is when the children get close-up shots, which their respective parents can do a great job before and after the event.

I took a glance at the Rehearsal Photographs done by the Official Photographer.
Verdict ? Plain disappointment. A piece of work that everyone can tell he did not put his heart and skills together. In the end, the photos didn't even look professional enough. But, the parents still ordered graciously. Oh well. I believe some of the parents took better shots than those posted.

Ong and my class did well !! I saw the children from the front of the stage and oh boy, they looked good, sang well and performed well. The music was a big flop. Too much changes made and too little time to edit.

Our children were waiting for the "coming down" chorus and but were greeted with the next item's music. Miss Tang's effort in training went to waste in this aspect. I must say it was a good idea. To play the song's chorus for the children to walk in and position themselves. After the performance, to play the song's chorus again for them to exit.

It can be retified if everything is done earlier. Too many changes imposed, I must say. I am glad I teach the Nursery and thus my item remained untouched, until rehearsal day. Ong and I shared the same sentiments and we were glad we sticked by our beliefs. We know our children will put up a good performance and as minimal changes should be introduced to them as possible at the eleventh hour.

I am proud of my class children that they could handle the positioning well. The back row had been altered few times. I am proud that they were confident and they handled the huge crowd so well. I am very proud of them and I am sure their parents too. I could see the smiles. I thank God for the parents' appreciation, help and understanding.


The teachers have all done very well. I was extra-ordinarily calm that night. I just needed to stay put in my class for the long wait. And then back to the class to wait for the finale.

By 10pm, everything was cleared and the church members helped so much in getting the logistics running.

Thank You, Lord, for the refreshment team of ladies. They happily and willingly serve in this aspect. They stayed in the kitchen all through and did not watch a single item. Yet, there was so much joy in serving. Their help helped a lot.

Thank You, Lord, for the youth and the men, who carried so many stuffs and ran so many trips up and down two levels conveying cues from "inside". It was also them who cleaned up after the crowd left the premise. Within minutes, the Sanctuary was back to her normal look? So cool and neat! I wonder how heavy that Big Table is. Hmmmmmmm .......... The stage was cleared too, everything done by 9.30pm. The teachers needed not to lift any finger to put anything back in place.


Thank You, Lord!

....................

Next week will be a short week. The following week will be outing week. And the final week will be rather fast moving. I only have 7 school days left to complete everything. Boy, I need lots of strength and hours.

Yet, I want to take time to meet a couple of very important people these final weeks before school close. I have to decide on an issue pretty soon. I hope the decision I am going to make will be a wise one. Now is research time. Now is praying time.


Love,
Jesselyn Ng

posted by Jesselyn Ng @ 5:44 PM 1 comments

After Rehearsal's Thoughts

Today was the full-dress rehearsal for Galilee.

This year, for the first time in Galilee Kindergarten’s history, all the 10 classes will be doing a Theme on “God’s creation and salvation”. It is actually a very massive project. One lady made it possible that it could be done and she engineered all the classes’ items so that they flow and connect.

This morning, as I saw the different items, I must say that God is honouring her hard work. I do feel touched by the children’s performances and especially the contents.

I was one of those teachers who were keener to read the words on the projector, hear the songs than to tell the children at the pews “keep quiet” at 10 times per second kind of frequency. No wonder, it is agreed that the children cannot be in the Sanctuary after they perform their item, as they do really make a lot of noise and can be quite a distraction.

This is so unlike PPH children.

After seeing it for myself today, I understand Galilee's stand.

It is actually impossible as each class teacher has two classes under her wings, no way the teacher can take care of both classes at the same time. And Galilee children are not trained to take instructions from other teachers in the school besides their own teachers.

This is also very unlike PPH, whereby, every teacher in the school is every student’s teacher and every student is every teacher’s student.

In this aspect, Mrs Yew had trained us teachers well. In the sense that, we should all work as a big family and do not see the children as “my children” or “your children”. But, the more crucial thing is that the class teacher should not take offence when a fellow colleague corrects her class students. We can all work as a team, for the students’ benefit and ultimately, for the school’s good name.


These are my thoughts after the rehearsal and after being in Galilee for 6+ months.

Thanks for reading,
Jesselyn Ng

posted by Jesselyn Ng @ 8:27 PM 3 comments

When More Than One Thought Fill Your Mind

One of those times, simply wanna just rest. Just write maybe.

A very close friend of mine sent a sms in reply to mine and what she said sets me thinking. Guess I am just not too much a kind of people whom we call “majority”.

Chert and I are about to face our very own Katrina or Wilma, but we will stand firm in our trust in our God.

My mentor, Mrs Yew, she also sent a verse to me yesterday which encouraged my soul:

Psalm 55:22
Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you;
He will never let the righteous fall.

It is really testing of faith when we are only given just enough light to tread on when we are going through our spiritual tunnel. That sets me thinking, how true, during psalmists days, they do not have electricity, so their only source of light would be candles. How far can candle light go? Not very far. But definitely enough to light our next step.

The Chinese has a saying : Taking it one step at a time.

My mentor, Mrs Yew, she said that many a times too, while I was still working with her. Another of her favourite quote is : whatever will be will be. She would always say this, esp. during concert term.

This time round’s concert is a very different feel for me.

Much less stress.

In PPH, I used to carry a lot of responsibilities over concert preparation. I am grateful to God for those teachers who were more “automatic” and they would do their best to follow through with their own children, be it the dance steps, the action songs, the choreography, costumes, props, etc etc.

At Galilee, to me, as a first-year teacher, it is not as heavy going as when I was in PPH. I have a very hands on Principal. She is familiar with a lot of things and in charge of many. So, many a times, we take her cues and suggestions.

Of course, given a pool of ladies, if open discussions are encouraged, there will sure be 1001 opinions of how every single thing can be done. In the end, it may get messy, or personal. Usually, it will get "lengthy" and lots of time wasted arguing how everything should be done. Of course, the other best approach is : whatever the class teachers prefer, that counts. In Galilee, it isn’t so.

As an onlooker, I hope certain things can be done more efficiently and let the teachers be freer to focus on other tasks. Well, take it a step at a time, I guess. It takes time to introduce changes and implement them.

I like the pianist style of playing the Concert songs. She may not notice it, but, I am one who is always refreshed whenever I hear her play, esp. on that grand piano in the Sanctuary. Thank God for her willing heart. Thank God for her talent. And thank God that she is allowing God to use her in this ministry.

Truly, whatever talent we are given, we have to use them, then, we will gain another talent for our Master. If we hide it, we will eventually lose it.

Plus, God will add talents to us who are faithful in using the talents He blesses us with.

“It is more blessed to give than to receive.”

“More is given, more is required.”

……. And …. May I add ……

“…… He who giveth more will be blessed more.”

Ever wonder why are some rich men in church who give a lot to God’s work keep receiving financial blessings again and again? This is because the Lord can trust them with the wealth and they are good and faithful stewards of the Lord. These rich men, even if one day, their businesses collapse and they lose everything, I am sure, they will still be happy in the Lord because they know that God is the only wealth Who matters. The gold bars we can accumulate here are merely pavements’ bricks in heaven.


Thank You, God, for the chance to write.

Till the next, everyone.

Love and blessings,
Jesselyn Ng

posted by Jesselyn Ng @ 5:32 PM 1 comments

The Discipline of Disillusionment

This sharing is from a Titus 2 woman. She is Tamie. In her late 40s. She moderates a Ladies' Christian e-group and she shares very regularly in the group. I just read her last sharing before she evacuated her home at 9am, Sunday morning.

Think this is what I have to go through for this season of life and learning.


Disillusionment really tries to wreak havoc in our lives!

Listen to this sweet little poem...


REFLECTIONS

I thank God for the bitter things;
They've been a 'friend to grace';
They've driven me from the paths of ease
To storm the secret place.

I thank Him for the friends who failed
To fill my heart's deep need;
They've driven me to the Saviour's feet,
Upon His love to feed.

I'm grateful too, through all life's way
No one could satisfy,
And so I've found in God alone
My rich, my full supply!

Florence White Willett


Can there be a discipline of Disillusionment?

Oooooooooh you BET! Ladies what assurance had we that the results of our obedience and sacrifice would be happy?

For that matter what assurance had the disciples? They had left EVERYTHING that mattered to them... jobs, family, position to do what? To FOLLOW the One they believed to be the Messiah! But what happened? He DIED! Yes...for those 3 incredibly LONG days He was GONE.

Can you imagine how disillusioned they must have felt?

May I share a little more from 'The Disciplines of Life'?

"The same situation is true as relating to others. Their love had filled our hearts with laughter, their devotion had been our delight, their thoughtfulness had thrilled us, their presence was protection to us, and their person peace.

Then came the forgetting, the failure, the forsaking; all to our fear and fainting of heart.

Because they were human, they were subject to frailty, even with the best intentions; and because we are human, we suffered because of their failure.

Without them life had neither meaning nor motivation, love nor laughter. We were disillusioned. To face fully the fearful fact of utter loss is the first phase ofthe discipline of disillusionment.

Nothing remains. The Emmaus road, with its disheartened and disillusioned disciples seems ever to have been the portion of God's children all down the ages; yet happy are they who learn its deep discipline...To find that God's hard word is not His last word, that "weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning: (Ps. 30:5) is the second phase of the discipline of disillusionment.

No careless pruner is He,
Who spoils the vine;
no diffirent refiner of silver.
For loss He would give us fruit, for dross, silver;
far beyond our fondest fancy...

And for us, in our despair and disillusionment, what provision does He make?

Restoration of lost hopes and loved ones like Isaac, with larger promises and deeper acquaintance with Jehovah-jireh, the Lord Who provides; perhaps new blessings, undreamed in our night of sorrow, like Boaz and Obed and the Babe of Bethlehem; perhaps the burning of heart because of His Word and the breaking of bread with us day by day in life's pilgrimage.

Disillusionment, designed by the Most High for our good, leads to delight, indescribable and enduring.

It is a searching discipline of the soul. It leads to sorrow, suffering, silence and solitude, to the apparently utter loss of the Cross; but beyond that Cross it leads to everlasting gain and good, in time and in eternity.

Therefore, let us follow Him fearlessly, obediently, trustingly, until disillusionment is dissolved by delight.

"PRAISE His name for EVER more!!! What the enemy 'thought' he could use against us... our LORD will RAISE it up as a discipline that wil ldraw us into HIS presence!!! "

Woooohooooooooooo! Lift up your heads dear ones. LISTEN for the Spirit of the Living God is speaking TO YOU. TRUST Him as He continues to lead and guide YOU for you are PRECIOUS to Him!

Loads of love,Tamie

..................................................

Amen. So be it.

Love,
Jesselyn Ng

posted by Jesselyn Ng @ 1:06 AM 0 comments

Those who have walked the path of fear or dispair

What would they say?

Dear ones, we can NOT be fair-weathered followers of our LORD and Saviour!

Just like the folks who cried out "Master, carest thou notthat we perish?" NO...NO....NO!Our Lord DOES care! He ALONE cares perfectly for each and every oneof us!

When despair/ fear comes rumbling around for attention REMEMBER these precious words of a dear old saint... George Matheson of Scotland from his 'Thoughts for Life's Journey'...


"My soul, reject not the place of thy prostration! It has ever been the robing room for royalty.

Ask the great ones of the past what has been the spot of their prosperity; they will say, 'It was the cold ground on which I once was lying.'

Ask Abraham; he will point you tothe sacrifice of Moriah.

Ask Joseph; he will direct you to his dungeon.

Ask Moses; he will date his fortune from his danger in the Nile.

Ask Ruth; she will bid you build her monument in the field of her toil.

Ask David; he will tell you that his songs came from the night.

Ask Job; he will remind you that God answered him out of the whirlwind.

Ask Peter; he will extol his submission in the sea.

Ask John; he will give the palm to Patmos.

Ask Paul; he will attribute his inspiration to the light that struck him blind.

Ask one more - the Son of Man. Ask Him whence has come His rule over the world. He will answer," On the cold ground on which I was lying, on the Gethsemane ground, I received my sceptre there."

Thou too, my soul, shalt be garlanded by Gethsemane.
The cup thou fain wouldst pass from thee will be thy coronet in the sweet by-and-by.
The hour of thy loneliness will crown thee.
The day of thy depression will regale thee.
It is thy desert that will break forth into singing;
it is the trees of thy silent forest that will clasp their hands.

"Danger, darkness, defeat and death before us; and the cry of despair unto the Almighty that brings the crown of deliverance, into safetyand light, victory and life!

Disciplined by desperation we come toknow the Strong DELIVERER!"

'The Disciplines of Life' by V. Raymond Edman



How apt this sharing is from another sister in Christ who is half the globe away from me. In fact while she was sharing this in our Ladies' Group, she was told to evacuate her home and in the midst of packing, as Wilma is going to hit her homeland soon.

I thank You, Lord, once again, for speaking.

With a thankful heart,
Jesselyn Ng

posted by Jesselyn Ng @ 2:34 PM 0 comments

When God Begins To Speak

Lost the First Draft after I click “publish”. Blog was gone. So, rewriting the blog.


A day ago, I was perplexed, I was confused, I was disheartened, I was upset and I was controlling.

I was perplexed because I don’t understand The Higher Way, His way. I don’t understand why things have to be in this manner.

I was confused because I don’t believe that He will not provide our daily bread. Aren’t we more precious than sparrows?

I was disheartened because for once, I saw that diligence does not overcome disfavour with men. Why God? Fear of men?

I was upset because I have enough of endless trials.

I was controlling because I won’t want to see myself yelling at the top of my voice heavenward.



It is alright.

I will wait till tomorrow (Sunday), when I am in church and see if He will say anything pertaining the matter. I will not take silence as an answer this round. I will want to hear from Him.

And ….. I am humbled ….

God is starting to speak now.

I need not wait till the church doors are open. It can be now … and Lord, please help me to listen.

Amen.


God used a very dear sister of mine to send this devotional sharing to me. She stayed up to send me this so that I can read it before church tomorrow.

Thank you, Delci.

Love and Thanksgiving,

Jesselyn Ng

…………………………………………………………..

Taken from "Faith to Faith" by Kenneth and Gloria Copeland.

Oct 22 - When Tough Times Come by Gloria

"There are times when life on this earth is hard and uncomfortable... and even downright painful. When those times come, you deeply need the comfort that only the Holy Spirit can bring.

How do you receive that kind of comfort?

By doing just what the believers in Acts did. By 'walking in the fear of the Lord'. (Acts 9:31)

Now, when I talk about 'the fear of the Lord,' please understand, I’m not saying you should be afraid of God. He's your Father! You should be as secure and unafraid when you come before Him as a child who knows he is dearly loved.

But you must also have so much respect for Him that whenever He reveals something you need to do, you do it immediately - even if it goes against your natural desires. That's walking in the fear of the Lord.

Let me show you what I mean.

Once several years ago, I receive a very disturbing phone call shortly before I was to preach at once of our meetings. It was painful news about a situation in which one of my children had been wronged. The news of it wounded my heart.

I cried, and in the natural, I wanted to get angry about it, to strike back in some way. But instead, I began praying in other tongues. As I prayed, I was prompted in my spirit to rejoice and praise the Lord.

I certainly didn't feel like praising. I felt like stomping my foot.

But, out of respect to the Lord, I put my feelings aside and obeyed. Next, the Holy Spirit impressed me to read a particular prophecy. As I did, I could tell I was being strengthened.

Then suddenly, I realized I was free.

By my obedience, I had opened myself to the comforting power of the HS (Holy Spirit). The anger and pain that filled me just moments before were gone! They had been replaced by the gentle love and reassurance of the Lord.

No matter how tough or painful a situation you may be facing today, trust and obey the directions of your Father. He will make that same supernatural, HS-inspired comfort available for your!

SCRIPTURE READING: Matthew 4:1-11"

And my dear Jess, here's a verse that I wanna bless you with :

Psalm 91:14-16

"Because he loves me,"says the LORD,"I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation."

Cheers Always, Delci

posted by Jesselyn Ng @ 12:19 AM 0 comments

One grey day and one sunshine girl

Date : 7 September 2005, Wednesday. 9am


This week hasn't been easy.

Maybe too many things needed to be done and too short a holiday.

Anyway, in my down mood, on the way to Zane's school, Zoe asked me this on the bus.

Zoe : Mummy, are you happy?

Me : (lying actually, and putting on my best smile). Yes, Zoe, I am happy.

Me : Are you happy, Zoe? (still smiling)

Zoe : (with her broadest smile). Yes ! Mummy! I am happy!

Me : Why is Zoe happy? You wanna tell mummy?

Zoe : Becauseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (she likes to drag this word nowadays) .......... Mummy is happy!


I was dumbfounded for a few seconds!


Me : Thank you, Zoe! That is a very sweet thing to say. Mummy loves you.

* time to alight *

And on the path to Zane's school, she was trying to comfort Zane.

Zoe : Zane, later, no need to cry ok? Don't worry, mummy will fetch you soon. Jie Jie has holiday, no need to go to school. You don't have holiday, so, you go to school, ok?"


Hahahahahah ........Thank God for this little blessing.

Jess


"Children are likely to live up to what you believe of them."
- Lady Bird Johnson

posted by Jesselyn Ng @ 6:38 PM 2 comments

Song - Heart Of Worship

posted by Jesselyn Ng @ 5:46 PM 0 comments

Worship Helps Me To Balance

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled."
Matthew 5:6


Lately I've really been feeling a need for time alone. Ever since School Concert is nearing and many things are waiting to be done since it is the last term of the year.

I'm missing my quiet times with the Lord. Those quiet imes when I can listen to worship music and sing and pray. Or those quiet times with the Lord when I sit down at my computer and just write. Times like this? I was tossing and turning in bed since 1am. Singing and tearing at the same time, and I realise that I miss God.

I'm empty.
I'm hungry.
I'm thirsty.


"Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom" Psalm 90:12


When I get things unbalanced, too much work, and not enough worship, it's like an uneven scale.

I need to renew my mind, very strongly, that I can worship God in everything I do.

Balance is crucial in every area of our lives. When I am out of balance, I find that I become edgy. Some other symptoms of being out of balance can be: irritability, snapping at people, slightly depressed, out of focus, frustrated over the direction of your life, over indulging oneself as anescape, apathetic attitude.

These are indications that we need to evaluate the balance of our lives. It may be that we need to adjust our attitudes, thoughtlife and priorities. It may be that we need to step down from some things.

As Christians we often think we need to be doing doing doing, but in order for us to be in tune with God, we must stop and be refreshed and renewed. Without a thankful spirit, things will quickly become a drudgery! If we struggle with lack of compassion, it could be that we are too focused on ourselves, or that we haven't spent enough time with God. Worship is crucial in every area of our lives. Without it we become unbalanced.

When we focus on God, and how BIG He is, that He is bigger than any situation we may be in, it will change our confidence level.

Being a Christian does not mean we have to say yes to everything. When things get out of balance we will burn out. Even Jesus set aside time to rest.

The Sabbath is His gift to us. It is easy to understand that in the physical, if we worked and worked and never took time to refresh ourselves with water, took time to renew our strength with good healthy food, took time to rest, we would quickly become dehydrated, weak and exhausted.

It is the same in the spiritual. If we do not take time to refresh and renew ourselves in Him, we will burn out. There is no doubt about it. We must be balanced in all that we do.

When we are empty, when we are thirsty, we must take time out and be refilled, renewed and refreshed.


"And he said unto me, I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give him that is a thirst of the fountain of the water of life freely. "
Revelations 21:6


"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls."
Matthew 11:28-29


"But seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added unto you."
Matthew 6:33


If we keep our priorities right, God will look after us!

Amen!


Jesselyn Ng

posted by Jesselyn Ng @ 3:32 AM 1 comments

As a Mother and a Teacher

This year has been a different year for me.


I've returned to teaching Preschoolers in a Church Kindergarten.


The option of bringing my children along to work with me is open, but I am letting them stay in their current preschools for the moment. My children have been blessed with very wonderful and godly teachers and Principals. They are very happy in their church Kindergartens and I very much won't want to uproot them from this happy and nurturing environment they are in.


I only teach in the mornings. When I am done teaching, my children are done in school too. So, I can pick them up right away. Afternoons are spent with them, field trips, hometeaching, playgroups etc etc. Evenings are family time and sometimes late outings.


After they are asleep, I will do my school work and preparation.



............................

Here are some thoughts which came to me as I read through the Chapter 10 notes of Power of Motherhood by Nancy Campbell.


Subject : Mothers Are Teachers


It is such an encouragement to read Proverbs 6: 20-23 and Deuteronomy 6: 4-9 as a prelude to the whole chapter.


Proverbs 6: 20 - 23

" My son, keep your father's commands
and do not forsake your mother's teaching.
Bind them upon your heart forever;
fasten them around your neck.
When you walk, they will guide you;
When you sleep, they will watch over you;
When you awake, they will speak to you.
For these commands are a lamp,
This teaching is a light,
And the correction of discipline
are the way of life. "

Deuteronomy 6: 4 - 9

" Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one.
Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.
Impress them on your children.
Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.
Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. "

The Hebrew Definition of "teach them (children) diligently" definitely has powerful meaning.

It means :

To impress sharply by verbal repetition (which is obligatory), to point, to show, to engrave, to make them penetrate, to whet as in whetting the appetite with repetition and diligence.


As a teacher by profession, this definition speaks to my heart. This is precisely what we teachers are called to do. When I am teaching my own children, I remind myself constantly that I have to be even more patient with my own children and do not get weary of repetition, be diligent in showing again and again, till the teaching penetrate and the child internalises it for herself or himself.


Many a times, it is the how we teach out children which matters to them. Our attitudes and spirits which accompany the words and actions. Children read us very well, they know instantly if their mums and teachers are doing their teaching diligently, and whether with conviction and passion.


Like what Tamie shared in one of her subsequent posts, words are definitely very important, when we use them to our children. Words communicate our spirits, whether they are in a joyful state or an ugly state.


When I am in my spiritual lows, when I manage to hear my own speech, I do notice that I have a lot of "Don'ts" in my instructions to my children, plus, my tone may be snappy. How much I need the help of God in the area of attitude check. How much I need the prompting from the Holy Spirit to be gentle to the little ones. Have we realise, even the way we look at our children matter to them? They can tell if we are pleased with them, they wish with all their hearts that they are not the cause to mums' grumpiness. *gulp*


Another thought which struck is that our children model us.


I have a daughter and a son. The best way for me to check myself is to watch and hear how my daughter talks and relates to my son. She is a very reliable mirror for me.


Nancy shared in the notes how DILIGENTLY we shall teach our children.

ie.

D - Daily
I - Interestingly
L - Lovingly
I - Intently
G - Gently
E - Encouragingly
N - Naturally
T - Totally
L - Labouringly
Y - Yearningly


This set of notes are such powerful reminders.
I have been chewing on them and trying to be consistent in working on them since I read the chapter. I too, hope to engrave these unto my heart.


I enjoy the time spent with my children everyday. It is a lot of work when it comes to planning what to do with them and how best to do those planned activities. Reading the POM notes pushes me on to continue to be faithful in planning executing the plans with my little ones. They encourage me to be steadfast in dililence.


One great challenge post to me through POM is that to train my children to love the word of God. I shall put this into further action, besides all the bible story telling to the children, ie, to print the verses out and paste them all over the house at my children's eye level. It is never too early to teach a young child to memorise and engrave the word of God into his/ her heart.



Love in Christ,
Jesselyn Ng
(Singapore)
Mummy to Zoe, 4+ and Zane, 3

posted by Jesselyn Ng @ 11:30 PM 0 comments

A Sense Of Newness

For a very long time, I have been thinking over an issue.

I have been thinking and thinking and thinking, for years.

Finally, yesterday, I tried again.

The first time I tried. I tried a place which I hope I will be comfortable with. It was purely because Chert and I know the people at this place. One man at this place was his very first spiritual mentor. This man officiated our Kindergarten wedding ceremony. This man is a man of God. He has the gift of teaching and nurturing. This man played an important role in the initial stage of Chert and my friendship. After being separated from Chert for 4+ years, when we met again, this man instantly knew that we were refering to each other when we told him that we were attached.

This man is our well-respected Pastor Alvin Ngo.

I taught his three children in a way. I comforted his little Princess when she was in Nursery. :)

We tried for a few months. But ... we did not move on to this place.

Yesterday was our second try.

Chert commented that he sensed that I was at peace with myself after the service.

I have to seek God over this issue again.

I want His blessing for the move.

Sixteen years at one place is very long. I grew up there, I was nurtured there. I am indebted, no doubt. But, I do wonder why am I feeling the way I am feeling.

Things move on. People move on. Maybe I should too.

The other side of the coin is the issue of faithfulness and steadfastness.

For now, I will let my coin rest on this side :

There is a time for everything. There is seasons in life.

I will wait.
I will seek.
I will obey.

Speak Lord, Your servant listens.

Amen.

Love You, dear God.

posted by Jesselyn Ng @ 10:50 PM 0 comments

Clay in The Potter's Hands

Why clay?

My first experience in pottery was during Secondary (High) School days.

Clay, in its raw state is just a lump of .... brown stuff.

Clay, it will be shaped according to the potter's hands.

If the potter is skilful, the clay will be beautifully made.

If the potter is careless, the clay can be ruined.

My Potter makes no mistakes and I am so happy to be His clay.

And, i feel safe.

Clay, in its finished state, can be for common use or an ornament. It can be of great value. It can be very useful. It is supposed to serve its purpose.

What kind of finished clay You have in mind for me, O Lord God?

Is it for common use? To serve Your people with steadfastness and humility?

Let my life be wholly Yours.

Totally surendered.

Amen.

In Jesus Christ's Name. I pray.

Isaiah 64:8
"Yet, O Lord, You are our Father.
We are the clay, You are the Potter.
We are all the work of Your Hand."

posted by Jesselyn Ng @ 10:14 PM 0 comments