Saturday, February 17, 2007

Chinese New Year

Honestly, I do not look forward to this celebration. I dislike facing those relatives. Superficial and at times vicious. My maternal side is kinder and simpler. Chert's grandma is lovely. That's about all.

I've a lot of mixed feelings over this.

I shared a bit in the parents' support group which I am in.

I am glad to read some of these parents' useful BTDT survival tips.

I will honestly consider trying out some of the suggestions and changing of mindsets this CNY.

May God give me strength and grace.

Amen.

.......................................

P/S : Thank You, God! These real life experiences shared are so timely.


With Appreciation towards these parents who walk in the same pair of shoes as mine.

Ren2 Jian1 You3 Ai4

posted by Jesselyn Ng @ 10:05 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

After 44 days have passed

Couldn't believe myself when I look at my calendar and it reads "13th February 2007"!

44th day of the year?

And what have I done?

Hmmmmm .....

At work, the pace is very fast. Sometimes, I'm like catching up with my students. It seems like many, many things are awaiting to be done. I'm left with 2+ weeks. It has been an exciting term thus far. I witness the children absorbing more and acquiring more skills and knowledge. I am pleased with their progress.

Zane is doing well at AAS too. Thank God for being with us every session. For giving me the physically strength to go through the sessions with him and to carry my 24kg son home, if there is a need.

Zoe settles into my class smoothly. It can be hard on her as mummy is at times overly strict and stern. Maybe, just say that my expectation of her is higher? Naturally. She is doing fine, this I'm glad, just some usual social issues.

I only wish I have more time alone with Josh. Week after week, it is children, work, children, work. Parents, employees, parents, employees. How about lovers, spouses, partners? Sigh sigh ....... But, we will never take in a foreign helper. This, we stand by it. We will raise our two children personally.

Gotta go. Taking them to the stadium for a run.

Ciao

posted by Jesselyn Ng @ 7:01 PM 0 comments

Monday, February 05, 2007

The Altar



For a very long, long time, I refused to go to the Altar whenever Altar Calls were given. It was easily 3 to 4 years of refusal. Maybe, for as long as how old Zane is. Or at the very least, as long as since I was at my "cold phase" in my mother church.

We were with an Anglican church for almost a year. This church does not open the Altar often. However, each time when the Altar was opened, I still remained at my seat.

Maybe my heart is still cold. Maybe I am still angry with God. Maybe I still feel I do not deserve such treatment in life.

Yesterday, in the present church we have been attending since August last year, I went to the Altar when it was opened. I wept and I wept and I wept. God's Presence and Comfort of the Holy Spirit brought me to my knees. I just wept silently for a very long time. A kind lady quietly placed a piece of tissue paper into my palm. I think I was there for easily 20 minutes.

Finally, I did not stand outside God's temple whenever I come to see Him.

Finally, by the Blood of the Lamb, I dared to step into the Holy of Holies.

It was awesome. It was fearsome. It was majestic. It was consuming.

Yet, it was gentle and assuring. It was familiar.

Healing flows. Freedom comes.

And my heart cries out, "Abba Father".

Thank You, God.




posted by Jesselyn Ng @ 5:59 PM 0 comments