Zoe is so brave and I am so proud of her !
Last week was a very challenging and draining week.
Despite the fact that Concert was just a week away, I had to pile up my work and attend to my little girl.
I am thankful the ordeal is over, her eye wound is healing well, she does not have to go for more rounds of treatment at Alexander Hospital after two rounds, except for a review on Wednesday.
I am so proud of Zoe. She has been so brave.
I will write more soon, not really in the mood for a long blog yet. Too worn out emotionally and physically.
I just want to say
"Thank You, Lord, for bringing us through.
Thank You for Your comforting Presence and Your divine healing.
Thank You for being with us."
Amen.
(To be continued ....)
Public Stares - A rant
Think I can't take it very much longer, and this is a safe place to express some of this long-termed bottled up frustration, before I go nuts and declare that I myself need counselling. Please bear with me if you wanna read this, or just simply ignore this posting.I thought I had *this all in control.This = ignoring public stares on my ASD child when he flies his "stunts"But, when it happens EVERY time and MANY times each round, it eventually gets on my nerves.One Sunday, I was at IMM alone with both kids.Thankfully, got a four seater for all three of us in this supercrowded mall. So, instructed Zoe to stay put on her seat while I brought Zane to queue to get lunch.Of course, I've to bring him along to queue, right? I was alone, and the only adult. Zoe won't be able to restraint Zane if he were to dash out of the eatery.The queue moved very slowly as those before us had 1001 requests about how their food should be cooked. What can we expect next?My ASD child got impatient. He is non verbal, so he stomped to show his frustration. The hunk in front of us turned around and stared. Another hunk seated nearest to us turned around and stared too. I told ds in audible volume (meant for the two hunks to hear), "Ds, I can't leave you at the seats with jie jie, you may run off to the playground on your own and jie jie won't be able to catch up with you. You queue with mummy to buy your favourite chicken rice."** more wails, more stomping of feet from ds**arrrrghhhhhhhh !!!!!!!** more stares and irritated looks from the hunks, this time, from some babes.***I lost my cool, stared real hard at both hunks simultaneously and said, "YESSSSSSSS ????? May I help you?? What is the stare for???"
I stopped short of saying "Rude A#@!"Btw, hunks and babes = parents to normal kidsThanks for hearing me out. It's PH today. I'm staying at home.Frustrated Jess
4 more weeks
oh no, oh dear! Only 4 weeks left for Term 4 and I have so many things I hope to do with the children. Plus PH and concert week? That left me with mere 3 weeks !! oh no, oh dear!
I can make it, I know I can.
This week (16th - 20th October 2006) was a very enjoyable week.
We had a Galilee Tuckshop (or some teachers like to call it Galilee Cafe) event planned out for the K1 and K2 children.
It took Choo, Ong and myself two months to plan this event. We discussed the skeleton before Term 3 holidays; when we had to do up the Term 4's syllabus. This event was made possible by making some changes to the K1 syllabus. Ong and I added in money concept for the curriculum. We tied this up together with our food theme and ...... ta-da, this cafe concept was birthed!
Each teacher took care of 1-2 stalls' preparation.
Each teacher sourced for different parents to help out in the pre-preparation work and actual day's running of the stalls.
I am so thankful to my class parents, they are all so supportive and willing to chip in.
Mrs Lynette Tan did everything for our hotdog kebahs' stall, from shopping to preparing to selling the kebahs. She is one amazing woman. I am glad that I've invited her to help us in this event. She was so comfortable in the kitchen as she is a church member, and thus familiar with the premise.
Mrs Tan (Patson's mum) swopped her off day with a colleague so that she could render her help.
Mrs Shannigrahi is always ever so willing to help us whenever we ask her.
Mrs Goel was all gamed though she stays very far from Galilee and Anish actually comes to school by bus. That day, she drove to Galilee, I reckon.
And of course, my ever faithful photographer, Miss Chin. From helping me to snap pictures of the show and tell's shelves, she is gradually roped in to help us in bigger school events like field trips and hands on activities. She is even willing to help us for the afternoon session's activities at times. In Chinese Language, we have a phase - zhen1 nan2 de2.
Miss Van came down to be the photographer for the afternoon session. That is so thoughtful of her. And I must say, she did a really good job for the event. The photos turned out very well. :) Thanks, Gwyneth !
Of course, not forgetting Mrs Phua, Zheng Lao Shi and Miss Tang who manned the afternoon session's stalls.
Thank You, Lord, I have been so so so so so blessed. Thank You for all these great mums, teachers and young lady!
******************
To be continued, getting my own children ready for their weekly Garage @Venture treat. Yeah! They can't wait! I can't too! I need a break!
*******************
ON 21 October, Saturday, I wrote:
The Tanglin Mall Market Place field trip was greenishly fruitful.. The children came back to school with a lot of vegetables and fruits.
I roped in Mrs Joyce Tan and Mrs Jeslyn Toh to help our class. Thank you, mums, for taking leave and even driving to school. Kimberley and Jerome were the most elated, I suppose.
Miss Chin graciously agreed to snap photos for both the morning and afternoon sessions. For Thursday, I brought Ben and Zoe for a walk around the whole Marketplace. It was also fun having just two "students" for that hour.
At Marketplace, the children were all excited. Well, the teacher too!
Much teaching had been done in class and the tour was a bliss. The children were all set to buy their own vegetables and fruits. Each child had $5 in his / her money bag. Honestly, all of them looked very adorable (with the bag hanging around their necks), you should be there to see their expressions and hear the mini conversations which went on among them. Too bad there is only one of me and one Chinese Teacher. If not, an even smaller groups' teaching concept would be more fruitful.
I am very grateful for the extra pairs of hands I had with me. Mrs Tan and Mrs Toh looked like me, mother hens to the little chicks! *grins* With their help, we could take the children to the public toilets in groups too. We were always doing head counting. We had to!
From what the children told their parents about the field trip and their attempts in penning their thoughts down onto a A4 size paper, I can tell that for every child, learning has taken place in different depths. Different child learns differently. Every child's expression was his/ her very own. I had a good time reading their completed work.
Of course, I displayed their work as originally as possible. Not too nice to see my red words on the board, I reckon. I am glad my students and parents love to see the whole class' work up on the display board. Why should I let their wonderful work sit in my classroom's in tray (due for marking) only?
This batch of K1 children's literacy journey (which started since 2005 when they were in Nursery) has been a rewarding one thus far. Much perserverance from the teachers is expected. The amount the time we devote to reading, word recognition, creative expression and literacy development (includes penmanship) is actually almost halve the total number of weekly formal teaching slots we English teachers have with them.
The children have come a long way. All the planning, typing, printing, laminating and teaching, plus many extra hours in school, late nights and burnt weekends are all worth it.
Yeah !
****************************
To be continued .....
****************************
Time : 8am
Jesselyn Ng
The lion in me
Last Friday's devotion, I shared a verse with the staff.Romans 12: 10Be kindly affectionate one to another with brotherly love;in honour, preferring one another.I ended the sharing with the 5 animals' game.It is to help the staff to know one another better, so that we can be more sensitive towards one another in our daily relations. There are many ladies who kept the sheep.Ong kept the horse.Choo kept the cow. And I .... kept the lion. Hahhahaha ..... they all got a shock of course. But it won't be too surprising. I plan and get things done. I ensure they are done. Even if I have to do the tasks alone (no assistant teachers mah), I will do them. I love to derive satisfaction from my work. It is a very intangible reward to me whenever I see the end products of any projects. By God's moulding, this lion in me is rather tame now. At least I mind my own territory. When I was young, I used to be much more dynamic, and ahem, yes, you guessed it, dynamic is a nicer word to ....... (grins).Love,Jesselyn Ng
Here I am waiting
Abide in me, I pray.Here I am longingFor You.Hide me in Your love,Bring me to my knees.May I know JesusMore and more. ........................................................................
In any man-made santuary, if the Presence of God is there, that makes the whole santuary alive. Yet, in the same presence, two self-professed believers standing side by side, one may feel the presence and the other not. It is the heart condition of the man, I believe. I hardly cry. Not many things or people can make me cry. Last Sunday, I cried. In His Presence, I did. I know He was in the santuary. That familiar presence and move. He is gentle. He is kind. He is love. His touch is comforting. His breath brings healing. Thank You, God. ..........................................................................
Come to His courtsWith praise on our lipsOur hearts and our minds and our soulsWorship HimBow on our kneesLift up our handsJoining the angels aboveDeclaring holy, holyIs the Lord God AlmightyWho was and is and is to comeHoly holy is the Lord God AlmightyWho was and is and is to come
Today's news 15 Oct 2006
Just browsed through the Sunday Times, read the whole article on "Time-out" measures meted out by some overly harsh Kindergarten teachers.
Time-out in a dark room? Ridiculous. Why don't these teachers try being locked in a dark room themselves? Why do to little kids things you will never imagine someone doing to you or your very own littles (include any little children you do know)?
Boils down to .... anger management. This type of teachers need to attend such courses, or maybe just simply leave the preschool profession.
As a preschool educator myself, I can't stand hearing teachers shouting at children like a loud speaker, lest talk about harsh punishments. This is the main reason I will never consider placing my own children in the Kindergartens near my block. No way. It is so irritatting to little ears to hear adults shouting across the rooms for full three hours, or more if in a child care setting? Don't these teachers (shouters rather) feel tired? And at the end of the day, these teachers can justify their loudness by pushing the reasons to the naughtiness of the children.
Have these same teachers ever ask, why, just why, their students do not follow their instructions at first call when they tell them to do something using their speaking voices?
Have the same teachers ever reflect why?
Loudness doesn't mean authority.
Loudness doesn't gain respect from little children.
Loudness doesn't necessarily means you are a strict teacher and thus effective.
Loudness simply mean you do not respect the little ones you are talking to.
Loudness means you have a problem, not the children.
In teaching, volume of voice is important. The tone is also crucial. And the body language speaks loud. Btw, think we all know, eyes can kill too.
It is good that as educators, we do not become our students' nightmare. If we have reach that point, maybe we can consider taking a break from being a terrorist at our workplace.
Emotional trauma leaves deep and unresolved scars in little hearts.
Just Jess
I am
dead tireddead tireddead tired dead tireddead tired T G I F
changes .....
We may not like changes. We may resist changes at times.We may resign to the unchanging fact that changes do come.Maybe, we can be more prepared for them by preparing ourselves for them.Maybe, changes may be good for us. At times, if we are pro-active, we can even engineer the course of the changes. Romans 8:28" And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose."I have done all I think I can do to facilitate and set the stage for the changes to come for my children. The rest is to trust the Lord. Or, should I say : The sole thing now is to trust the Lord. Love,Jesselyn Ng
Two "wow" moments over Zane
Slowly and surely, Zane has been making progress in acquiring peer and sibling awareness skill.
I have never known that peer (or sibling) awareness does not come naturally for a special needs child (ASD for short) until I have one.
To an ASD child, another peer or sibling can be non existent. Meaning, he may not see the other child like himself, a person, or is someone he can interact with. An ASD child is very much in his own world most of the time.
Recent months, Zane has been having more eye contacts with Zoe and his classmates.
Let me share some incidents which caused me to "wow" over him the last few weeks.
1. His teacher, Mrs Chandra, related to me an incident in school.
Zane, on his own initiative, went up to a classmate, held that classmate's hands and jumped with joy. That classmate naturally joined him in the jumping happily. This was Zane's very first time initiating "play". Though it lasted for only a few seconds, I am glad that Mrs Chandra caught that kodak moment scene.
2. Usually, when 3 of us have to take a bus, if we can't get a long stretch of (sideway facing) seats, it will either be Zoe and Zane will sit together on a double seat and I'll stand next to them, or I'll sit with Zane and Zoe will sit on a separate seat. Just now, it was this latter arrangement.
To my surprise and pleasure, Zane turned back (our seats are back to back), held Zoe's hand and motioned to Zoe to come to the front and sit with us. Zoe politely declined Zane by saying, "I'm ok sitting by myself, Zane, don't worry." Zane persisted a second time, this time he tapped on Zoe's head. Hahaha ..... I had a hard time persuading Zane to give up, yeah !
I stroke Zane's head again and again, told him many times over, "Thank you for loving jie jie. Jie jie loves you too, Zane."
Love,
Jesselyn Ng
xiu1 xi4 shi4 yao4 zou3 geng4 chang2 de lu4
Literal Translation : Resting will enable you to walk a longer distance. Ha ... what a lousy translation. This is the beauty of the Chinese Language. It can be crisp and apt. The words of description are precise and at times, one phase or idiom can only be used to describe one SOLE meaning. I always love the Chinese Language. Its complexity and beauty marvel me. I am glad I had the chance to soak in the Chinese culture in a very Chee-na school, aka Nanyang Girls' High in my teenage years. I am glad I had the chance to study Chinese at a higher level, took up Chinese Literature and even interacted with very "pure" and traditional Chinese teachers. I will forever remember the "qi3 li4, xing2 li3, zuo4 xia4" in NYGH. (translated : rise, bow, sit. A way we greet every teacher who walked in for the various subjects.) I appreciate this mannerism thingy only much later. Those days in NYGH, it was just a formality, a chore and at times I didn't even greet my teachers as respectfully as required (meaning while going through the greeting motion, I could be bending over my wooden desk and digging textbooks (or were those comic books or novels? can't remember.) out. Ha.)Think, my dear friend and ex-classmate, Caroline, can identify with this school culture stuffs. hehehe ..... It is still amazing to me that Caroline, together with a few other 2/4 girls, we are still keeping in touch after so many years. God is good! I can only say it again and again. Because even before I knew Him, He brought me to a good school and met good girls, whom we became friends. He put me in a good school environment so that I won't grow astray. He put me a a safe environment so that I could discover my talents without distractions. Through NYGH, I grew slowly to know what I really want in life and .... what really matters ......God is good! All the time! Amen.Love,Liao Zhen Zhen tong2 xue2 (a term I had been addressed by every Chinese teacher back then in my NYGH days)
Good when it is early ....
" Early in the morning, I will praise Thee, O Lord.I will arise and exalt Your Holy Name. "There is just something very special about the few hours before the first rays of sunlight shoot out at the horizon. It will be darkness. It will be silent. It can even be tranquil.
This morning was one of those mornings I woke up successfully to complete my work. Yeah! It is quite something, you know? 8 out of 10 times, I would fail. :p
At 4am, my alarm rang. I snoozed it off. At 4.10am, it beeped again. At 4.30am, I finally dragged myself out of bed, I thought I might plonk back to bed after switching on my lap top. I thank God for His strength, His nudge, His Presence. This morning was one of the few mornings I did something which I dread joyfully. I broke it up into two parts. I had to, coz Zane was up at 5.30am!!! After settling Zane and packing his bed, I got back to pc to do my part two when Josh was up and fresh and able to take over minding Zane from me.
Father and son just stepped out. Zane always enjoys daddy bringing him to school. You should see the smile on his face when he knows that Daddy is sending him again, even that means no car ride. Somehow, children love the physical company of their parents. My son, though young he may be, though special he may be, he understands affection (thankfully) and he expresses his in his own special ways. My heart smiles seeing his love for daddy. :)
It is good to start the day early, not just for me. Also for Josh and for Zane.
Thank You, Lord.
Once again, "Good Morning, Lord God! Good Morning, Abba Father! Good Morning, Holy Spirit!"
Love overwhelmed,
Jesselyn Ng
stress building up ....
I hope I can make it through the next 7 weeks in school.
Work seems to mount.
I know I created more work for myself. :)
But this is part and parcel of teaching, if we wanna bring the current curriculum to a greater height. The easy way out is of course to just duplicate what previous K1 teachers had done. But .... this is just too stifling for my colleague and I.
As I focus on the curriculum changes, I am glad in a way, my class' concert item is planned out already, with someone's help. It is obviously not what I want my class children to do for this year's concert. BUT I will go along. I won't wanna fight it through. I wanna keep the peace and harmony. Maybe next year, I can fight for it right from the beginning. I hope I will get to do it. I just can't adopt someone's "baby" just like that. And, maybe, I dun have enough stamina, if I still wanna continue to do the curriculum changes for K2 in the year 2007 at the same time.
***********************
Zoe's preschool route is mapped out. I just need to submit the necessary documents to MOE. I've spoken to her new Principals-to-be. Both are understanding and accomodating. I am trusting God in helping Zoe to adjust to a new school and new teachers.
As for Zane, it is quite set that we will take up the Early Intervention Program by Fei Yue, rather than waiting for Autism Association of Singapore to give us a placement (and the social worker told me Zane is no. 17th in the wait list!!) I have no time to wait. Zane is already 4. It has to be these two years whereby we intensify his intervention programs. ABA is very expensive. And that will require me to be sahm again, plus, Zoe won't be at home most part of the day. Maybe in 2008, we can do that?
****************************
Money. A very pressing issue. I am literally asking God to drop money from heaven now. Fei Yue program may be steep due to the income means test. And we may have to drop Glowing Seed, which is very dear to Zane and we don't wish to, as we are seeing gradual improvements in Zane.
God, please help.
*********************************
As I look at the amount of school work waiting to be done, I also need prayer. It is no joke looking after Zoe and Zane alone. God, give me energy, focus and efficiency. I need to complete as many tasks as I can within a very short frame of time. Please help me.
Just Jess rumbling so as to unload some stress off her heart.
(very thankful that today is school holiday and I can catch a breather.)
