Clay in The Potter's Hands

Monday, September 22, 2008

Newest Blog Site

This is my newest blog site :

http://jjzzl.wordpress.com/

See you there.

Jesselyn Ng

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

http://joshjesselynzoezane.spaces.live.com/

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Chinese New Year

Honestly, I do not look forward to this celebration. I dislike facing those relatives. Superficial and at times vicious. My maternal side is kinder and simpler. Chert's grandma is lovely. That's about all.

I've a lot of mixed feelings over this.

I shared a bit in the parents' support group which I am in.

I am glad to read some of these parents' useful BTDT survival tips.

I will honestly consider trying out some of the suggestions and changing of mindsets this CNY.

May God give me strength and grace.

Amen.

.......................................

P/S : Thank You, God! These real life experiences shared are so timely.

With Appreciation towards these parents who walk in the same pair of shoes as mine.

Ren2 Jian1 You3 Ai4

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

After 44 days have passed

Couldn't believe myself when I look at my calendar and it reads "13th February 2007"!

44th day of the year?

And what have I done?

Hmmmmm .....

At work, the pace is very fast. Sometimes, I'm like catching up with my students. It seems like many, many things are awaiting to be done. I'm left with 2+ weeks. It has been an exciting term thus far. I witness the children absorbing more and acquiring more skills and knowledge. I am pleased with their progress.

Zane is doing well at AAS too. Thank God for being with us every session. For giving me the physically strength to go through the sessions with him and to carry my 24kg son home, if there is a need.

Zoe settles into my class smoothly. It can be hard on her as mummy is at times overly strict and stern. Maybe, just say that my expectation of her is higher? Naturally. She is doing fine, this I'm glad, just some usual social issues.

I only wish I have more time alone with Josh. Week after week, it is children, work, children, work. Parents, employees, parents, employees. How about lovers, spouses, partners? Sigh sigh ....... But, we will never take in a foreign helper. This, we stand by it. We will raise our two children personally.

Gotta go. Taking them to the stadium for a run.

Ciao

Monday, February 05, 2007

The Altar

For a very long, long time, I refused to go to the Altar whenever Altar Calls were given. It was easily 3 to 4 years of refusal. Maybe, for as long as how old Zane is. Or at the very least, as long as since I was at my "cold phase" in my mother church.

We were with an Anglican church for almost a year. This church does not open the Altar often. However, each time when the Altar was opened, I still remained at my seat.

Maybe my heart is still cold. Maybe I am still angry with God. Maybe I still feel I do not deserve such treatment in life.

Yesterday, in the present church we have been attending since August last year, I went to the Altar when it was opened. I wept and I wept and I wept. God's Presence and Comfort of the Holy Spirit brought me to my knees. I just wept silently for a very long time. A kind lady quietly placed a piece of tissue paper into my palm. I think I was there for easily 20 minutes.

Finally, I did not stand outside God's temple whenever I come to see Him.

Finally, by the Blood of the Lamb, I dared to step into the Holy of Holies.

It was awesome. It was fearsome. It was majestic. It was consuming.

Yet, it was gentle and assuring. It was familiar.

Healing flows. Freedom comes.

And my heart cries out, "Abba Father".

Thank You, God.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

if only ...

if only the weekend is longer....

if only I do not have such high expectations of myself at work.....

if only I am more willing to let go.....

if only I am more trusting.....

if only I lower my expectations of others....

if only my heart will not grow cold and weary....

if only the world is still a beautiful and kind place.....

if only the ground we are toiling on is not hard ground.....

if only I can still sing the songs I want to sing.....

if only I can feel someone is really listening.....

if only I can be sure he is here.....

if only I can be strong no matter what tidal wave hits me relentlessly and continuously.....

if only I have a little space to be myself.....

if only I can rest....

sometimes, I wish I am HOME

no more pain....

no more sorrow.....

no more trials....

no more tears.....

how long more can I be strong ?

I am, at the end of the day, still a woman.

Oh yes, woman is made to have the inner strength that her stronger half may not possess.

Does this matter?

another week is dawning and I am so not looking forward.

Monday, January 22, 2007

He wiped my tears

Last night was horrible for me when we were at my in laws' place for dinner.

Mil raised an issue. Accused me of giving her pressure when what I did was just circling tomorrow's date on her calendar to remind myself to let her know that I need her help in minding Zane in the aftenoon as Zoe has an assessment test with NUH's psychologist. I felt so ........... not in the family, especially when she commented that the calendar is only meant for the three of them who live in her flat. Ok then, noted, as far as the silly calendar is concerned, I am AN OUTSIDER!

This is so super hurting. I couldn't hold back my tears. Took over the feeding of Zane forcefully from Josh. Think brother-in-law saw my black face. But, what the heck. I couldn't bring myself to sit next to mil for dinner (this family has designated seatings for dinner, btw), so I purposely took a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggg time to feed Zane. I took two pieces of tissue paper on the pretext of wiping Zane's mouth. Actually for my own tears lah. I backfaced everyone and just cried as I fed Zane.

Then ..... Zane stretched out his hand .... and wiped the tears on my cheeks !!!

He knew I was sad !! He "told" me, "Mummy, don't cry, I love you!"

I was touched beyond words.

Love,
Jess

Thursday, January 18, 2007

A Different Ball Game Altogether

Nowadays ......

I find myself speaking a different kind of language.

I find myself finding a different type of resources.

I find myself mixing among a different group of people.

I find myself doing a different kind of job.

I find myself mothering in a different way.

I find myself in a very different world.

I find myself in ....... Zane's world, a very different kind of world.

I live, breathe, speak, read, listen, do, research (etc) ..... autism.

And this is such a huge and foreign world to me.

I'm like an alien on this A planet.

I will be bold enough to continue to be in this game, together with my son. He will be my coach and I will be his trainee. I must admit through Zane, I've been learning a lot more, first as a person, next as a mother and lastly as an educator. Zane has taught me to "read" people, especially reading little people. This is one subject my early childhood lecturers never taught me in school. Zane has been giving me the "on the job training".

"Lord, please give me strength to trod on this road less travelled."

Love,
Jesselyn Ng

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Thinly Spread ....

I'm very thinly spread.

Praying for more divine strength.

I need a renewed mind which only Your Holy Spirit can give.

Let me be the lamp which have enough oil ... for the darkest hours of the night.

Amen.

Prayerful me

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Marketplace aka Work Place

Colleagues are good to have, especially if you can get along well with them. It will be a bonus if you can develop close friendships with them and these relations even stay after one of you leaves the work place.

By the Grace and Provision of the Lord, I have the opportunity to know a great bunch of colleagues from my previous work places. In the first school I taught in, I got to know 20 over ladies over the span of 8 years. My Principal cum Mentor was a godly and wise lady. Working under her not only equipped me for this field beyond the teaching skills, she had also taught me the Christian principles behind human dynamics. My colleagues were also a wonderful lot of Christian ladies.

On New Year's day, I was invited to a dear ex-colleague's son's wedding. My hubby was perplexed that I was invited to a wedding whereby I don't even know the groom and bride. Hee .... strange hor? But, it was very fun. Ahem, it just shows how young I was when I first started in this career, grins. Our table was like a reunion sort of setting. Lots of laughter, pulling of one another's legs, teasing, catching up etc. And of course, we were noisy. Thankfully, we were in a very good corner.

At my second work place, though it was just a short stint of 3 months, I am blessed to know 3 very good colleagues who are in their 40s. They are full if wisdom whenever they give me parenting advises. I am so happy to "see" beyond my circumstances through their experiences, that alone can save me from potential heartaches.

Truly, at times it is good to

"Ting1 Lao3 Ren2 Yan2"

This is my 3rd year in this Kindergarten I'm working with. By God's provision again, I am glad that I can have a part time teaching post. The timing fits perfectly around my two children's schooling hours. Initially, I would have to stop teaching for this year if Zoe is in Primary One. Zoe's deferment will enable me to bring her along to work and continue to teach. Thank You, Lord!

At this place, I am also very blessed to be surrounded by very good and understanding colleagues. I have good bosses and mentors too. And .... being in a Christian environment helps me to grow, in faith and in grace.

Amen.

Love,
Jesselyn Ng

Monday, January 08, 2007

Changes. Some are welcomed. Some are not.

2007 began as a different year which I had expected in 2006.

Zoe was registered with Jurong Primary School and due to begin her Primary One life last Wednesday. However, mummy and daddy dears sought for deferment for her. Getting an approval was easy. I see it as better for her that she has another year in preschool to get ready for the bigger school. Furthermore she is a year 2000 baby, which means she will have to compete with the same 46000+ children her age in every phase of their education and even possibly including job search.

Getting Zoe to come to terms with this deferment was not easy. She understands that she is already 6. She looked forward to going to a big school like the rest of her peers. She looked forward to growing up.

Sorry, little angel, I have to dash your dreams for a year. I have Zane to consider too. So, mummy really have to slow you down a bit.

By God's divine intervention and provision, Zane was offered a place at AAS. He was suppose to start EIP with Fei Yue, but somehow, AAS called and granted him a place. Even though the timing isn't too ideal as Zane can be rather sleepy during the sessions, I am glad that he was able to survive through each session so far.

There are changes requested from Zane's school. Firstly, he is on half day care now. That also means once I'm done at my school, I've to drop everything or carry outstanding work back so that I can pick Zane by one. Before reaching his school, it will be a bonus if Zoe gets to eat her lunch. If not, it will be late lunch for her. Not ideal definitely, but can't be helped. I really pray that the shadowing arrangement will really work out. If Zane were to quit school, that also means I have to quit too.

I can quit my job, but hopefully after I complete this year? I've started in what I've proposed to do, I don't wish to stop or ... play my school out. I really wish to graduate with all my 23 babies.

Lord, please, shine Your Light that I may know which are the correct steps to take. Through all things, trials and pains, may Your Name be glorified still. Please give me the supernatural strength that I need. And please continue to help me to keep my heart soft, especially towards people.

In Jesus Christ's Name, I pray. Amen.

Love,
Jesselyn

The New Year

has been a good start so far.

Better than I've expected.

Year end was family time. Josh took his block leave the last few days of 2006. We went for a chalet at Changi Village. The children had lots of water fun! We had a pleasant surprise too. Zoe was delighted that we planned to spend her birthday weekend away!

School started swiftly. Almost dragged myself to school, but still gotta brace myself up for the new class, new premise and new challenges. So far so smooth in school.

Will hope to write more, gotta go now ..

Jess

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Christmas 2006

" Tis the season to be jolly,

Fa la la la la

la la la la "

I wish with all my heart it is really a season to be jolly afterall.

In the midst of so called celebrating Christmas, there is always a nagging question:

After this year (which is ending pretty fast, btw), what will tomorrow hold in 2007 ?

Still, whatever have been planned in advance, I will carry them out. None of these plans will come to nought because certain things may not remain as status quo in the coming year.

I still ....

bring the children to Adeline's Garage every week. It is their weekly treat. It will remain so. It is costly definitely. But it is worth it. Adeline is such an effective facilitator in social play.

I still ....

opened my house for staff's Christmas celebration last Thursday. I thought of asking my dear colleague to open her house instead as I might not be up to it to be ready to receive so many guests in my humble abode.

I am very glad to host this celebration. I can tell that all the teachers enjoyed themselves at my place. They are mostly mums, so they do understand why it was better to host the get together at my place for the sake of my special children.

They are also understanding and gracious, esp some of them are staying rather out of the way from Jurong East St 32. On top of that, they washed the cups and such, packed the toys etc. That I think was very thoughtful and that helped a lot as I have another group of guests to receive that same evening.

Topic of the day was ...... breasts !! Of all topics?? Oh well, oh my. Let them be lah. I was conferred with a new title .... "bouncer" ..... hahahaha .....

I still ....

had a simple appreciation dinner with my son's 2006 teachers. Only 3 of them could come as the 4th one was transferred to another centre. I had to keep it to this mini sized group. As we were eating, I was hoping in my heart that it will not be a farewell.

I sincerely pray and hope that things will work out next year.

I am very blessed to see that they love Zane very much. Zane loves the alphabet toy they bought for him. He wanted to rip the box immediately after his teachers left. He wanted to lug this newest ABC collection to his bed too. And I believe if possible, bring it to school the following day.

One of his teachers commented that my house is like a school. That I agree. And that Zane has many many many toys and books. That is also true. Josh and I are never stingy with the children over books.

Hee .... hey, I can run a play school in my house you know? Kekeke .....
Is that legal btw? Hmmmmm ......

I still ....

let Zane go to school for his school's Christmas Party, though I know it would be confusing making him go to school in party clothes and not his uniform. True enough, he whined all the way. However, the moment he saw his teacher, he was smiling. Teacher called him "handsome" and I think he understood, coz he grinned.

As I left for school with Zoe, I sure hoped he would survive the day and hopefully his new teachers survived too.

I still ....

met my good, old church friends over lunch. It was brief but good.

I still ....

went back to school almost every day last week to clear some stuffs. Well, it was neccesary. Too bad the shifting couldn't commence yet due to camps after camps. We are seen as invading that space. Oh well ....

I still ....

get Christmas gifts for very dear ones whom I wanna appreciate. Spent almost $200 on accessories for 5 very special ladies in my life. That is almost my whole Christmas shopping budget, hehehe ..... the rest will cut back, or cut off.... no choice lah.... kekeke ....

It is good to be new kid in the block in church, that also means no need to get gifts for church leaders and friends or friends' children. Yeah! Oops ....

I still ....

attended the Glowing Seed Review. I was glad that I was up to it. I was very tired from all the sleepless nights since 14 Dec. And my mind wasn't as sharp as it should be.

I still .....

went about doing my daily duties as a mother and wife.

I have yet to .....

write my new lesson plans for Jan 2007.

Next week lah ... I'm very tired.

I've more urgent things to attend to. Many phone calls to make. Many things to finalise before the term starts.

My students will definitely see me on Jan 3. And ... Zoe Ng is going to be one of my new kids on the block, yeah. She will be with me all the time, from sunrise to sunset, except the 2 afternoons when I have to bring Zane to AAS for therapy sessions.

Zoe is the most delighted over such an arrangement. Smiles. She is a joy and a comfort to have. She will always say "I love you, Mummy!" with hugs and kisses every now and then each day to cheer me on. She is forever my sunshine girl, especially when the skies are grey. Thank God for you, Zoe girl!

Love,
Jesselyn Ng

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

tired .... but .....

am feeling very tired.

in all senses.

in all areas.

BUT .....

I will walk on.

I HAVE to walk on.

"I lift up mine eyes unto the hills,

from whence cometh my help.

My help cometh from the Lord,

which made heaven and earth.

He will not suffer my foot to be moved;

He that keepeth me will not slumber.

Behold, He that keepeth IsRael

shall neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord is my keeper:

The Lord is my shade upon my right hand.

The sun shall not smite me by day,

nor the moon by night.

The Lord shall preserve me from all evil:

He shall preserve my soul.

The Lord shall preserve my going out

and my coming in from this time forth,

and even forevermore."

Amen.

Psalm 121

Saturday, December 16, 2006

we need wisdom, we need power ...

..... and true love for each other.

We have had so many big but empty words.

So, we come before Your Face,

Asking for Your Grace,

Bring Your People to a state of Kingdom life.

Restore Your Church again.

Touch Your People once again,

With Your precious Holy Hands, we pray.

Let Your kingdom shine above the earth,

Through a living glorious Church.

Not for temporary needs,

But to restore authority and power.

May a mighty rushing Wind blows in.

Touch Your People once again.

Lord, You see Your tired servants,

The broken-wounded soldiers,

Oh, how much, we need Your precious healing Hands.

So, we come before Your Face,

Asking for Your Grace,

Bring Your People to a state of kingdom life.

Restore Your Church again.

Friday, December 15, 2006

rejection after rejection .....

......... from so called
..........C_______ organisations.

Zoe started preschool in 2004 Jan.

On 8th Jan, I received a call from her Principal.
Purpose : To take Zoe out of her school and let her stay at home with me.

3 years later .....

Zane started Nursery Class on 4 Dec.

On 14 Dec, his Principal spoke with me.
Purpose : Guess you can guess.

What am I going to do?

God help us. Please helpppppp.... don't reject us like men do too!

I cannot don't work. I need the income to finance his twice weekly therapy costs.
Furthermore, I've commited to 2007 teaching. I can't back out now.

Frustrated, angry and disappointed Jess

P/S:
God, how can Your people or Your organisations which bear Your Name, give thanks to Your Name, etc.... do this to me??? Not once, but twice??? Thankfully, I only have two children.
In Your mercy and grace, no more 3rd/4th ones for us please, I am not a rejection-taker expert.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

A-no-specific-blog-title-post

Today was a good day. Had a very fabulous time catching up with a very dear friend and her lovely children. It is always relaxing to be at her place. Zane was superbly cooperative. He was very diligent, purposely and focused. He tasked himself with many different assignments and projects. And he busied himself the whole 5 hours. This is one friend whom I always wish we stay nearer to each other.

This friend noted that I did not update on Zoe's Garage @Venture's Birthday Party in my blog. Hee..... I guess when it comes to blogging, I just plonked my emotions via the keyboard more than events journaling.

I am more of a spirit-soul-body person when it comes to sharing about myself using the cyber space as a medium.

Spirit meaning the spiritual things which I hold very dear to my heart. After all these years as a Christian, I am thankful for the Grace of God. He picked me up at a tender yet dark age of 16. I am very thankful that I know the Lord early, just before I wrecked my life further. I am most sensitive to things which happen and bear meanings in the spiritual sense.

Eg: Just last week, I smsed hubby and a few dear friends what I witnessed when I stood in my living room. The part where the dining hall's windows is? It was raining cats and dogs. But, the part of the sky which the TV area's windows is? It was sunny and cloudy! To me, this has a spiritual meaning. In my very down and earthly moment, the Lord showed me this phenomenon to encourage me on.

"I hold EVERYTHING in My Hands. Even the clouds, rain and wind listen to My command. One side of your life may be very stormy now, but you will always have the sunny side which you see on your right at the same time too. Because you have Me. And I am here with you."

I've not told hubby or my dear friends, that moment I cried with gratitude.

Without Him, I would not have lasted so long in my journey with Zane.

Thank You, Lord.

Soul meaning the things and events which strike cords in my heart strings. Think I need not elaborate much on this. I think most of us are emotional beings and whatever happen around us do have some impact on us.

Body meaning just relating the events. In short, whatever happen outwardly. Where? What? How? ...... etc ..... can be just plain documenting at times.

This is why, many a times, you read the spirit-soul sharing first ..... I may get to the body sharing only when I feel like it and maybe, just wanna update, or write something.

Thanks for reading.

Love you all!

Jesselyn Ng

Sunday, December 10, 2006

A Week Has Passed ....

Today is Sunday. Josh is attending church with Zoe. I've attended the church's Saturday service yesterday. Staying in Jurong also means I basically need an hour (minimum) to travel to another part of Singapore. If I am to go to church by train, I must leave the house by 4pm.

To my few friends who stay near to town, do continue to give thanks that it is really more convenient to be "central". *smiles*

@ Lynn, every ladies' night, I am ALWAYS the last one among us to reach home. Hailing a cab from town at that hour is also time consuming, not to say expensive. Like all of you had said, if ladies' night is ever held at Jurong Point, no one will come, hahaha ..... is Jurong that 'ulu', btw? Kekeke .....

The 3rd week of holiday was a work week.

I went back to school 4 days in a row. Churning and churning.... and not completely done yet.

Zoe sat in the children's camp for a few morning sessions. It was wonderful for her as she got to sit under the mentorship of her favourite teacher, Mrs Poh. She sure enjoyed the attention and tender loving care. (so unlike mummy, who can be overly strict with her at times.)

Zane had quite a boring week, so as to speak, hee. By evening time, mummy's battery's flat already lah. Bringing Zane out has been tiring. He floors a lot. He is loud. He is unwavering. So, there are a lot of battles each time. I do warn his teachers about going for walks around the neighbourhood. Recently, whenever we do not go by the routes he has in mind, he floors. He is bigger and stronger now, so, it is kinda difficult to restrain him. When he was physically smaller, we could still whip him up with both arms and carry him back home or to class, by force. Now, Zane is strong enough to throw us ladies over.

Whenever he acts up, at the back of my mind, I do think, "What if when he is 10, 15 or even 20, he is still like that?". "Lock him at home 24/7?". Honestly, I dare not think. I just do whatever I can NOW.

I've learnt to be thick-skinned and I am learning to be vocal and expressive. Think my closer friends will know what I mean. So, dear friends, please don't feel too embarrassed by me, if you ever have the chance to see ME ACT UP in public when we are out together with all our kiddos.

So far, the word "special" is still a very harsh word for me to swallow. I hope the day will come when I use this word with pride and it has become a really beautiful word to me.

As for now, every hurt inflicted on my special child and I, either by people I know, or from strangers, every week, I must lay them at the feet of Jesus. I must ask the Lord to lift them from my heart. I must walk on bravely. I will continue to be my special child's advocate.

God, please give me love and grace.
Love for the people who know not what they are saying or doing.
Grace to forgive them.

Hurting Jess

Friday, December 01, 2006

Today is Zane's Day !

Finally, Zane is napping.

Zoe isn't bugging me for her pc turn yet, so, I still can rot here. Ha .....

Today is the designated day to bring Zane to the Zoo.

Usually, Zane only has one agenda when he visits the Zoo.
That is : Water Pool !

Today's weather is fantastic! It only rained when we were on our way home in a taxi.

It was a challenging day still.

Bringing Zane out (along with Zoe) has always been very challenging for me. It needs lots of mental preparation. I need four eyes and four hands preferably.

We waited almost 45 minutes for a cab in the morning!

Tough luck.

Somehow, people are feeling richer when it is year end.
Sooooooooooooooo many working people waiting for taxis?
And a few even "snatched" cabs from us, ie. "cut" our queue by standing ten metres ahead of us.

Nevermind, I have time.

We took a feeder bus to interchange to get a cab.

When we finally got one, the taxi driver told Zane off for making noise. He said his babbling was causing his ears to hurt and he couldn't stand it. If we were not along an Expressway, I would have ask him to pull over and we would hail another cab.

I retorted in Mandarin : (as cool as I can, so as not to sound offended)

This boy has autism.

His loud noises are not within his control.

He is just being excited that he is going to the Zoo.

If he is a normal child, he will be quiet the moment I tell him to.

But he is not normal.

Brave of me? Yes.
And ..... it is painful. Though those are just 5 simple sentences.

The rest of the ride, I didn't even look in front.

"Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry!" ..... he replied ..... silence from him all the way ....

Still, I told him to keep the change for the fare, as he would have to leave the Zoo without passengers.

I must be more prepared for such encounters.

The public needs to be educated about autism. At least being informed will help them a bit. And of course, hopefully helps my son.

Zane threw a few tantrums here and there. As expected. And I was firm.

As usual. No means no. Drag and go. He want to floor, he can. Since he is stronger than I when he wants to floor. But, he will still have to get up and move on.

I am not buying pizza for him when I know he will only eat the pineapples.

I am not buying Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream for him, when I have a tub of ice cream sitting in my freezer.

That's final.

Ha .....

To and fro the Zoo will cost a fair bit in the taxi fares. So, I will have to cut down on frills. Breakfast and lunch were packed from he2 li4 and Prima Deli. That was just $8.

It was a good trip.

Zane wasn't afraid of taking the choo choo train. That is a consolation. And an achievement for Zane.

Zoe was disappointed that she couldn't have the pony and elephant rides. Not today, my princess. Maybe the next time when Daddy comes along.

The Zoo is very pleasant now. I appreciate the new landscape.

Love,
Jesselyn

Thursday, November 30, 2006

zoo .... zoo .... zoo .....

Monday .... zoo

Thursday .... zoo

Friday ..... zoo again !!

Hee ...

Monday ... with two friends and four of their children. The children's names all start with letter "A". :). Every child got to do what they hoped to do at the zoo, saw the animals they hoped to see. Well ... almost. Zoe had to do away with the elephant show, due to its timing.

Thursday ... with a student and his mum. Mrs Toh's name is also Jeslyn. Her Chinese name is also a double single word. With Jerome, we covered almost the whole zoo. Wow, my first time in fact. My family's zoo trip is usually : tram ride, playground, water pool, tram ride, home ... hahaha ..... we go to the zoo not to see the animals actually.

Friday .... which is tomorrow. May go to the zoo again. This time, it will be Zane's call, which means ..... water playyyyyyyyyyyyyy !!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, we've just renewed our membership. Must make full use of it, esp during the weekdays school holidays. Yeah !

Work ??? Errr .... wait .... My children come first this week! Yeah !!

Love,
Jess

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Time to Declutter too

Read in Delci's friend's blog about decluttering.

This will be a new term for me to use, in replace of spring cleaning, hahaha ....

Well, to spring clean means to keep the house sparkling clean, which to me, is not possible yet.

Some of my colleagues said their homes are decorated with many ornaments and such, one even said her home is full of glass furnitures and displays (which need a fair bit of maintainence). I can only hear and drool.

Those of you who had been to my humble abode. Remember my white cabinet at the TV area? Remember the glass panels? I had 4 of them. Now, only 3 are left. All thanks to Zane. He was too forceful when he opened the panels. Sigh. So, one fine day, one panel came crushing down on the floor and very thankfully, missed Zane. He ducked really fast and my heart stopped beating for seconds.

I've only cleared Zane's old school uniforms. Zoe's next. Should I just throw them? Hmmmm ......

Next in mind should be the clothes which can't fit Zoe and Zane anymore.

Followed by my own clothes.

Study room is a mess too. And the thought of tidying up leaves me exhausted. It will be massive. I've to file the K1 stuffs I'd created over the year. Preparing for K2 stuffs for next year. The crafts' stuffs alone is a headache. I must be daring enough, to just discard the old stuff. Arrgghhhhhh !!! The down side of being a preschool teacher.

Zoe's Kindergarten stuffs? That will need one box at least.

Zane's pre-nursery stuffs? Another box, I guess.

But .... I'm not too keen in keeping the LC craft work their teachers did with them.

My students' fees are the lowest of the three schools and yet the quality of the crafts they brought home is of the highest standards and impressive. I do feel my very own children being short changed. Sigh ..... IF only I am their teacher in school too. In homeschooling setting, definitely possible, but I also want the social dynamics for them.

It is different when I duplicate what I did in school with my students, with Zoe. The fun element and learning together synergy just aren't there. It may purely be a stand alone art and craft session with mummy. Plus, not much pride will be attached to the finished products. She can't bring it home to show her mummy, just like my students, right? But, she always enthuastically brought back her paper plates or toilet rolls crafts from school and exclaimed without fail, "Look, Mummy! I made this!!!! Look!!!"

Gotta end here. Both children are up and getting them ready to leave the house.

Till the next posting.

Love,
Jesselyn Ng

Happy Feet

Yesterday was ROM Anniversary Day. Josh decided to take the whole day leave instead.

We went to Vivo City in the morning, to catch 10.20am Happy Feet's screening. We reached there at 10.20am, so what do you think? It was a comical sight seeing father and son running to the cinema via escalators. We got 4 seats, at the second row. Not too bad. I thought we would be very near.

The story line was fantastic. It struck a chord in me because my Zane is also a special child. A child different from all his peers. All his peers are speaking (as in singing in the show) and he is flapping (as in tapping his feet). I cried a lot throughout the show.

It is a show worth watching definitely.

Zane was laughing at the penguins at the beginning of the show. He was very amused over their dance moves. He lost interest after an hour. Josh had to take him out before the show ended. As usual, I had to tell Josh the ending of the story.

Afternoon was Garage treat for them while we find a place for our lunch. Went to Cedele @ Wheelock, Level 2 which Lynn recommended. Nice place. We had great service. I requested for a quiet corner as this being our anniversary day. The waiter graciously gave us his last 4-seater window seats. I wrote a compliment for him in the feedback form. Hee ... my usual practice when I received good service and for people who go the extra mile.

Evening time was just resting and lazing around the house.

Today is a day out with Zane, will try to stretch it as far as I can, hee ..... Sorry Zoe, it is Zane's turn to have mummy all to himself, even though the beginning part is to go to AAS for an OT assessment.

Love,
Jess

Monday, November 27, 2006

a great day at the zoo

with long time friends .... and our growing children.

I met up with two very dear friends and their children.

When we first knew one another and met up, our first borns were barely one year old. At least for Zoe, she was just 6-9 months old.

We watched one another pregnant and bore another child. It was interesting seeing our children growing from play date to play date. Each holiday we meet, the children grow a bit taller and a bit more matured.

These two ladies are friends for keeps.

All our children played very well together. I am thankful for this. I am happy for Zoe that she can have good and very sensible friends to play with. The mums have brought up their children very well indeed. I can't say the same for all my friends' children.

I am still the same. I am still highly selective over whom my children should play with and at times, who are the mums I want to mix with.

With these two ladies, the bond of friendships between us are definitely strong and ..... will grow stronger.

Yeah !!

Thank you, Lynn and Nurul, for a most wonderful day at the Zoo. Love you both! Love your children dearly too!

Let's try to meet again over the holidays. Before you both start another new phase of schooling with your first borns.

Love,
Jesselyn NG

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Planning the second week of the holidays

This week will be Week Two.

Planned for Zane to go to school on just two days in the week.

Zoe is going to have her designated play dates with her long time friends and having fun together like during any other school holidays. Zoe has these groups of friends whom she will only meet during the school holidays. A lot depends on the mums, I guess. School holidays are more relaxing and easier to plan for play dates. We can arrange them during the weekdays and do not have to worry that the following days are school days. Some times play dates can be more fun than school days, hee ....

Zane will be having an Occupational Therapy Assessment at AAS on Wednesday. Sure pray that he will be cooperative. Ok, there will go another round of 1000s of questions to answer, be it verbally or in written form.

Somehow, there is much peace after confirming AAS. Thank God for His divine intervention and providence. AAS is further than Fei Yue, no doubt. But still, I thank God for His plan for Zane in 2007. May God grant me strength to attend the sessions with Zane twice weekly. May God grant Zane strength and stamina to last through the almost 3 hrs sessions each time. That will mean I can only do my school work after the children are in dream land. May God grant me extra strength too.

Next year, the burdens will be heavier and there are more hats to wear within the same day. May God grant wisdom, understanding and peace. Amen .

Love,
Jess

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Week One of the School Holidays

School holidays officially started.

By right, I should be going back to school for housekeeping and curriculum planning purposes.

By left, I don't think those are first things I want to do first days of my holiday.

Yesterday, went to CSC with Ong and Choo. Ong suggested this swimming activity (without our littles preferred and absence of good friends of course) and we dragged Choo along. She was sporting, but not Xu. Nevertheless, Xu met us for lunch at West Mall at 12+.

It was an easy breezy day. No stress, no hurry, no specific agenda.

By 3+, I picked up both Zoe and Zane. Zane was very happy and cooperative in school, though he knows that mummy and sister are already having holidays. Zoe, of course, loves to go to grandparents' place as she can get pampered and undivided attention from my in laws. It is wonderful seeing grandchildren and grandparents loving one another. This relationship is not definite for every child who has a grandparent. Zoe and Zane are blessed, all their grands love them and give in to their whims and fancies.

Too tired to go out at night. I think i plonked into bed before 9pm.

I know Josh had a bad day at office. He didn't say much over dinner. And then retired to read the papers, so, I didn't probe too.

May the Lord's favour be with us. Amen.

It is another new day.

Zoe's going to have fun today! As for Zane, his turn's on Friday.

Anyone wanna babysit Zoe, so that I can bring Zane out one to one? Hee .....

Love,
Jesselyn