It is Tough when you are different
Shared this some time ago in another group.Just "pulled" out this thread of discussion, to remind myself where I came from and why I am going where I am going in this area.
It is Sunday Morning again.
Time for Church.
Both senior and junior church.
If St John's Chapel is a good fit, we will stay.
If the culture there is no different from where I grew up in or the people are the same kind of species? The search continues.
Like what I have shared with a colleague who grew up spiritually with A/G too, I hope to relate with Christians who are kinder in words and acts (including body languages), not just deeds.
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Subject : What if our children are lovingly special?
I do follow the thread of discussion on "Problems with Churches" faithfully.
I can understand the anguish and frustration we all feel when other people do not understand, and even throw our children and us disgusting looks.
In the context of church, I myself have my fair share. My first reaction to any rude look or comment to my child's behaviour is usually to "give it to that person", whether it is from a child or an adult (pastors included).
However, I have learnt this lesson in a very hard way.
Somehow, as Christians, we ourselves do have higher and hidden expectations of and from fellow Christians. And if we are carried away, we question God why HIS people behave like that also?
I have learnt to drop this expectation into the toilet bowl and flushed it down the pipes. Having this expectation will make me a more bitter person through time. I've learnt and still learning, to cope with it.
Our children are as special as any other normal children.
Our children are also sensitive to acceptance and rejection.
Our children will react big time over rejection and meanness.
I've learnt to always look at my daughter and teach her to learn and to cope with all kinds of scenarios. I must be diligent in teaching her these kind of life skills.
My dd doesn't like Sunday School since the very beginning. She resists big time. Through a lot of prayer and "practise" (meaning put her in many different settings whereby she is with other children, wearing home clothes, with one teacher and mummy wun't be in the class), I tried again in July 2005. Thankfully, she accepted it well.
The first friend the sunday school teacher tried introducing to my dd said a "NO" in front of me and my dd, when the teacher asked her, "Can you be Zoe's friend and take care of her today?" Ha !
And when the teacher is not looking, that girl walked far away from my dd. My heart broke, I held back my tears. Nevermind, I told myself, my girl can survive this. I held my girl's hand, brought her into the class, ushered her to sit at a big space and assured her God loves her just as she is and mummy loves her too. I standby outside the class, just in case, I can hear her scream.
I've learnt ....... a painful lesson ........ but together with my little, precious one.
Nevermind how others will react. That is their problem. They are accountable. At the end of the day, they will be ashamed of their attitudes towards our children and us. They may even be asked "why" by our Lord.
At the end of the day, I believe God receives our children into His arms with utmost gladness and joy. God gives good gifts to all of us. We may always think God gives us our children. I believe wholeheartedly too that God give us (the good gifts) to our children. I am glad and blessed that I am my dd's mummy. Through her life and learning together with her, I am a much better person than I was before I had her.
I've learnt the lesson on Grace big time. I've learnt to be gracious, the hard way.
I've learnt not to behave the same way as those self-righteous, selfish and lack of understanding people.
I've learnt to enjoy all aspects of specialness in my child, regardless what.
My job is to help her learn, re-learn, un-learn and grow along the way. My job is to protect and love. My job is also to cry with her.
Each parent who shared on this thread, I prayed a prayer for you. I ask for the overflowing love and comfort of God to flood your heart, to renew and refresh your inner man. To see the lovely sides of life once again. To be thankful that our children are lovingly special and we love them with ALL of our hearts, souls, minds and might.
Amen.
Kudos and blessings to every parent in this board,
Jess
20 August 2005
posted by Jesselyn Ng @ 7:54 AM
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